shocked and scared

[Whirlwind@]

hi everyone i suffered domestic violence and left (detail removed by Moderator) years ago (detail removed by Moderator) after time my children confided in me they were also abused without me knowing.Ihave been on emergency move after obtaining a non mol order and have had no luck moving through council.I have not seen my ex for for a long time.The order ran out (detail removed by Moderator) months ago and (detail removed by Moderator) ago he approached me on the street while i was with our young child.It has shocked me and scared me and now im scared to go on certain routes i have to take as he used to follow me.I actually dont know what to do now and worried he will start following me again.I understand i can keep a diary but its thatat risk feeling i cant shake.Any ideas guys im panicking now and just want to run.Thanks

[KIP.]

Ring the police and report this. He’s putting you in a state of fear and alarm and yes you should be very concerned for your safety and that of your children. I’d also report the abuse you have discovered towards your children. You could also ask for another non mol x get back onto the council and tell them what has happened and that you need them to progress your move urgently. Contact your local women’s aid too for support x no wonder you’re shocked. I’m sorry this is happening to you, it’s dreadful for you. Do you have support from your GP or have you had counselling to help manage the anxiety?

[diymum@1]

The police can class this as stalking the law is there to protect you – give them a call and let them scare him off he can’t get away with this xx these men are just awful xx sending hugs

[Whirlwind@]

hi ladies my gp is awful and really not understanding about things at all.i dont know where to start as the order has ended i wonder if the police could really do anything.I may just have to up and leave urgently i dont think i can keep doing this.Thanks for your replys

[Watersprite]

Hello I could write some of this post – I’m so sorry it’s all heartbreaking and tough. Call police report it and keep on logging every single time until they listen. If this continues go back to court and get another non mol NCDV can help. Best advise anyone gave me is with ‘personality types’ like this every time he crosses a boundary you have to put another one up. It’s exhausting and frightening – I’m still dealing with it too. Re children have you or they reported this? You can call children’s social care I know it can feel worrying to do that but as you have left and got orders they will understand you are protective. A social worker really has saved our lives I was very honest about what had happened once it was safe to do so. I understand running and in the end we do what we can to keep our families safe but do speak to women’s aid support is essential and you are not alone x*x

[Whirlwind@]

hi watersprite unfortunately social worker who did an assessment for his contact for family court agreed he still could despite being told about child abuse.All professionals have been informed.The only reason he does not see them is because he threw the court case before i had a chance to prove the child abuse.Im sorry that you are still going through things.I now feel scared whereas before i was guarded and always aware.I hate him being able to do this.

[Whirlwind@]

hi ladies it got worse he waited (detail removed by moderator) and approached us got to my little boy before i could get to him (detail removed by moderator). Was cuddling the kids like nothing happened and this upset my little girl was shouting he can do this whenever he likes.I was shocked and froze now scared to leave house but have to and feel like a sitting target.i have contacted police for apt but worried there is nothing they can do.Its a horrible way to live when u are scared the whole time you are out and he knows my bus routes etc and has followed us previously.

[Watersprite]

I’m so sorry re family court SW. I completely understand you are scared looking over your shoulder all the time … have you got Hollie guard app? And these 3 words app? I’m sure you already do but change your routes regularly? Keep your phone charged and handy? Please do log with police even if they don’t act it is there if it continues or escalates. It shows him you will act every time he oversteps. I try and help manage my anxiety with yoga mindfulness and have counselling. Even then PTSD gets the better of me. It’s cruel how they won’t let us go after so much time isn’t it. I try and stand tall even though my knees are shaking lol So so hear where you are coming from and hugs to you we left we are sooo brave !

[Happyskies]

In addition to comments above, have you contacted shelter (detail removed by moderator)? They can help advocate for you, so if the council are dragging their feet, shelter can help to shift things along.

[Whirlwind@]

after him hanging around following and approaching us i reported to police they said there is nothing they can do.

[KIP.]

Do you have support from your local women’s aid? The police are wrong. This is stalking and I’d make a complaint and ask to speak to a senior officer or get your local women’s aid to intervene. Meantime keep a journal of his behaviour and get some legal advice. Rights of Women have a free helpline. Speak to the domestic abuse unit at the your local police and don’t give up on this. There are laws to protect you

[Whirlwind@]

hi kip i am not with womens aid i will have a look at how that works.i recieved a call today from a police officer stating they want to ask the officers in safeguarding dept to review everything took a statement from me and asked if i want to go to court?thanks

[Eggshells]

Stalking and lack of police action around it hit the headlines just a day or 2 ago which may be why they’re reviewing it.

Please keep reporting. If you feel unsafe and there are other people around, don’t be afraid to dial 999 on the spot. Tell them that your abusive ex is harassing you in the street.

I don’t know much about non mol orders but I know that you can get them renewed. You’ve had enough concerning incidents now to justify it.

You need to start feeling safe again very quickly so please do take action and call your local dv charity urgently. xx

[Watersprite]

NCDV were great they can help with a non molestation order and then I got mine extended for another year. It has been a help. Definitely worth it if police outcome not what you hope for. The DA team should now be in touch with you whirlwind and they seem more switched on to domestic abuse and stalking. Eggshells hope you doing ok. please can you put a link to that stalking and police thing on here or PM me where to look please? Xx

[Author]

Posts