Viewing 8 reply threads
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    • #168111
      Happybelle
      Participant

      The silliest positive moment…. ordering groceries. Ones I want. For meals I want. No added extras in the trolley. No unwanted alcohol. It’s an odd happy moment but for a number of years I’ve had to make do with whatever was cheapest or go without veggies etc because nobody else likes them and I couldn’t afford 2 sets of meals. So now it’s veggies and fruits and a mix of things!!

    • #168112
      ILoveCats
      Participant

      Awww that’s so wholesome, this sounds really nice and the simple things are the best. I get fed up of planning meals and buying food for half of it to be wasted for one reason or another, to ask what the other person wants and get, “I don’t mind/care” or a bunch of unhealthy expensive c**p when I’m trying to budget or be healthy.

      Please keep enjoying this!

    • #168149
      Texas
      Participant

      It really is the small things that count!

    • #168160
      Eggshells
      Participant

      It’s lovely isn’t it – that freedom. I was just thinking about this today. I posted about this before. I’d worn a Christmas jumper and put anti-freeze in my screenwash. Small things that I was never allowed to do with him. I also got myself a cat (which wasn’t allowed( and I’ve just bought a (detail removed by moderator) car – (detail removed by moderator) cars were a no-no. I smile everytime I see it. 😁

      Enjoy those lovely meals. xx

    • #168162
      Happybelle
      Participant

      This is amazing – I mean that is extreme things you couldn’t have. That’s awful and how much fun you have with your (detail removed by moderator) car now :)! x

    • #168163
      Happybelle
      Participant

      I’m also painting the kitchen this weekend. A couple of years redecorated and was persuaded to a colour I didn’t like. Now I’m putting it back to what it should be! Ha!

    • #168165
      Reallyconfused
      Participant

      Wonderful to hear these freedoms. I’m still with my abuser – for the time being. However I wasn’t “allowed” to wear (detail removed by moderator) (he didn’t like them). I had to take one with me to work to get changed there as he said he couldn’t bear to look at me wearing one. I wasn’t allowed to watch any tv soaps (they were trashy and beneath him). I had to keep my hair long and wear dresses and skirts.There are so many things he has controlled – and still does. I have now after many painful years tried to regain my confidence and rights. He will still try to control but I now do all the above.
      It sounds simple writing this but the aggression and sheer violence were soul destroying and I would keep quiet and follow orders for the sake of the children.
      However he still does not “allow” any of my family to visit ( he has fought with everyone) and does not like it when I visit them. He also hates me seeing friends and there is no way I can invite them over as he will deliberately insult them and me. I am working on myself to change this. But I am so very happy that you have managed to find freedom and some sense of peace. You can’t put a price on that.

    • #168166
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Amazing! Enjoy that feeling, it’s such a good feeling when you notice this stuff. Not buying alcohol is one of mine too – how expensive is that and we used to do it for them without thinking, the other is getting up slowly, lounging around in our pjs! He’d force us to get up & dressed the second he was awake even if he was going out & kids were off. Good luck with the painting 🙂

    • #168167
      Happybelle
      Participant

      All of these things ladies – when I see other people’s stories I got off so lightly really in comparison. These people are unbelievably horrible – wishing everyone luck with getting out and through the other side.

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