My ex is finding new ways to add to his ways to use the children and punish me. He has taken them away to visit family for the week (long distance). I only know this because my children told me they were going. I don’t know which family member they are staying with. I asked him via text later that day if he could confirm the children had arrived safely. No reply. That was a few days ago. I’ve asked via text to FaceTime tonight and after no reply I have tried to call them. No response. I have no idea if they are ok and I believe he is ignoring my attempts to maintain a minimal level of contact whilst away from their home and their mum. Should I just let it go? It will be unsettling for the children not to have any contact with me at all for an extended period as they are not used to it and may worry about me (this is something my son does I know).
I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through at the moment. We know that abusers use the children, custody issues and contact as a means to continue their emotional abuse and control long after the relationship has ended, it can be such a frustrating and upsetting experience.
It sounds like your ex is trying to make you feel distressed and panic, as if he wants you to be chasing him for reassurance about the children. It seems like a power move on his part, and is very manipulative behaviour. It must be really difficult for you.
If you are worried about the safety of your children, you may want to consider speaking to the police. Is there a contact order in place at the moment? Maybe it would be helpful to get some legal advice around your rights. You could contact Rights of Women who have a family law advice line.