Should I take him back?

[NewVoice2020]

I would really like some advice based on other’s experiences.

I am a married woman who has been married for (detail removed by moderator) years and in a relationship with this person for (detail removed by moderator) years.

Our marriage has never been easy, his gambling and drinking issues led to him spending our rent money before we were even married and I used my own savings to pay the Landlord so that we were not evicted.

Fast-forward through the years and there have been so many instances where I have had to call the police because he is drunk and violent/aggressive and he has tried to pin me down and choke me….

There was an instance (detail removed by moderator) where he wasn’t violent towards me but (detail removed by moderator) and then parked his car up against mine (detail removed by moderator) to stop me from leaving the house. I very nearly left him then but he managed to persuade me that he would change – I told him that this was the last time he would ever do this to me and that I would not give him another chance.

The latest episode was over a (detail removed by moderator) ago, he had been drinking all day and evening, I had been out with family and came home. Everything was fine to start with but he soon became very argumentative, he pretended to be on the phone to the police to report me as being aggressive, he threatened to post a nude picture of me online and tag my family in it….there were so many threats. In the end because I wasn’t giving him a reaction, he punched the (detail removed by moderator) and started squaring up to me and that is when I was scared enough to call the police.

I still love him which is what makes this so hard, however he is now promising to give up alcohol completely and he is saying that he is prepared to fight for the marriage and that he is going to change. The trouble is that when he is sober, everything is good and it is the drink that affects his behaviour so much. I think that if he stopped drinking entirely things probably would be better and I believe that he would stop being violent/abusive but can he really give up?

(detail removed by moderator), he made so many promises and they lasted for a while but then (detail removed by moderator) months later here we are again…can anyone give me any advice as to whether I should take him back or walk away?

Sorry for the long post!

[Ariel]

I’m sorry to say but I really don’t think he will change. Hes proved that to you time and time again.
Maybe if he really is serious about changing his behaviour he could go and see someone about his drinking.
No one can tell you what to do but there comes a time where you need to think of yourself.
You deserve to be happy and have a man that looks after and cherishes you.
Xxxx

[NewVoice2020]

Thank you – I know you are right. Why is it so hard to walk away? I feel guilty for him because the tenancy is in my name and so he will have to move out. He has no-where to go, his family aren’t local…it’s a mess!

[Author]

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