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I feel I need to vent on a few things regarding the abuse inflicted on us and the effect it can have on our physical and mental health. It’s not going to be easy to say what I want without giving away too much personal info. But when things kicked off more with my abusive father, who sends letter saying how thick and sneaky I am – all the usual tosh that these unhappy men direct at us – I started to notice some bodily changes. These have since been diagnosed as requiring hospital treatment. Abuse does make us sick!
My annoyance is directed to those who seek to minimalise familial abuse. This would include my partner, who refused to believe that things could be that bad, because, well, the letters weren’t actually saying too many horrible things. Yes, I say, but they’ll get worse. And, yes, they did! He also didn’t make a single comment on those body changes I mentioned above. Not once! Despite saying that he loves me. Perhaps in his own warped way he does. He was sexually abused, so that’s probably distorted his view of love and relationships. With so little warmth and emotional support in my marriage it’s hardly surprising that my body is unable to repress any more abuse or negativity and starts to show externally how much distress is trapped inside.
To all the counsellors who may be reading these posts, who think familiar abuse doesn’t really warrant much of their attention and judge us. To those that say my suffering cannot equate with that of my partner for his sexual abuse. To those that did not even give me the time of day to hear about how he was subtly abusing me by withholding support and the effect that was having on my physical and mental health because to do so would mean challenging their own beliefs. Isn’t counselling supposed to be non-judgemental?? I thank you all on here for listening/reading. You are amazing and reading your posts gave me the confidence to have my physical health checked out as I know if things get tough you will always be here.
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Hi there and well done in posting. Waking up finely to recognising we’ve been abused by those who are supposed to love us the most is horrendous, but once we’re aware of it, that’s when we can do something about it 💞 it’s crazy how once we’re away from them some of our symptoms do improve, sadly the psychological ones will take longer especially if it’s been years and years of abuse. I personally believe that with what I’ve gone through, I’ll be able to educate others, if that includes professionals that can only be a good thin, cos they’re only human too and as such books can only tell them so much. Between this forum and the amount of reading I’ve done, I hope I’ve done enough to protect myself in the future.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞
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