5th February 2021 at 9:13 am #121122GalaxyHoneyParticipant
I suffered abuse for (removed by moderator) years….more mental and emotional than physical, but it’s all abuse and it’s all ugly.
I finally had enough and had him arrested after his last violent assault on me.
Now I am just so d**n angry all the time. I yell needlessly at the dog, I find myself throwing a hissy fit over just about everything and I hate me. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I feel and I hate the fact that I am not me any more.
Is this normal? Is it fall-out? If I felt angry at him, it would be understandable, but he doesn’t deserve an emotion so powerful…..he has my contempt, but not hate.
I don’t want medication…I don’t want to talk to Healthy Minds (they make me angry, but that’s a whole different post!)…I want to be the wise-cracking smart-arse that I was. The woman who didn’t stomp around the house yelling at the dog the woman who loved her garden and kept her house in good order.
I want to be ME, but it’s like I am stuck with this version of me, and I don’t know where I went.
Does anyone else feel like this? Will it pass?
5th February 2021 at 11:26 am #121135beachhutParticipant
Sorry you’re having a rotten time, don’t worry the feelings you are having are all quite normal. You must remember it is not every day that the person who supposedly loved you gets arrested for assault. It is traumatic, there is no correct way to behave, you will go through a raft of emotions, anger, guilt, sorrow, and many more, once you start to process what has happened properly you will start to discover ‘you’ again, I went through my CBA (can’t be ar—d) period that lasted weeks, looked a complete mess and did nothing, but you will get better, things will gradually be processed by your mind and body and you will start to recognise you again.
It does get better
Take care of you, beachhut x
5th February 2021 at 12:57 pm #121141KIP.Participant
I had this and it was a symptom of post traumatic stress disorder. It did pass as I processed the abuse. I did go for therapy which was fantastic in educating me on post traumatic stress and how to cope with these symptoms. Mindfulness, walking, talking, relaxation tapes, yoga. All helped.
5th February 2021 at 5:01 pm #121152LisaMain Moderator
You seem to have just started posting here, so welcome to the forum.
Just want to echo what has been said in your previous responses; it’s absolutely normal to experience a range of complicated emotions after ending an abusive relationship. Try and remember this is healthy and expected. Be kind and less critical of yourself at this point. Sometimes the memory of what you endured and the difficulties of starting a new life can make you feel as if you are not healing. It all takes time and people around you may have to accept this. We all deal with things in different ways and this healing process can take time.
The Freedom Programme is an 11 or 12 week rolling programme which provides information about male violence to women. This programme identifies the tactics abusers use, the beliefs held by abusers, and the effects that domestic abuse can have on women and children. Find their website here. They should be offering online courses. This may help put all that you experienced in a perspective that allows for healing.
You could also try calling Supportline who offer confidential emotional support. They offer support by telephone, email and post. They work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self-esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. They also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups throughout the UK. They cover a wide range of issues, including domestic abuse. They can also refer locally. You can contact them on 01708 765200, or visit their website at http://www.supportline.org.uk.
I hope this is useful to you. Keep posting.
All the best,
11th February 2021 at 3:48 pm #121514Tinkerbell2020Participant
Hi Galaxy honey I am going through the same now ,I’m exhausted, I’m angry but emotional angry where I just cry.I can’t function and feel like I’ve lost almost everything.The ladies on here are really supportive and gives me hope things will improve.I’m not me anymore but I have put a fake smile and appearance for many years to deal with the abuse and don’t need to now he’s gone so I need to now be me , sounds like you are feeling the same way which means this is probably normal and I’m not going crazy !!!!!!!!
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