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    • #148291
      Balloonandstring
      Participant

      Hi I joined after speaking to a women’s aid helper who confirmed I am a victim of emotional abuse. My partner would discuss all his previous exes constantly then gwt annoyed when I said it was upsetting and he blocked me when I asked him to message less (detail removed by moderator) (constant messages regardless of reply then he got upset I messaged less).

      He told me his gf before him physically abused him and I was just like her. It is upsetting. I’ve never yelled, sworn or attacked.

      I hadn’t talked in (detail removed by moderator) and asked him for his address to post things to. (detail removed by moderator) So how can he say he gave me space when he (detail removed by moderator) message telling me it’s all my fault.

      I’m so confused. I thought he dumped me by blocking me I don’t know but he won’t organise exchanging things

    • #148396
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Balloonandstring,

      Welcome to the forum. I’m sure some of the other forum members will have experiences of similar situations to share with you.

      His behaviour sounds designed to keep you confused and guessing, hopefully I can provide a little clarity. Domestic abuse is about power and control and abusers do not like to give this up. By not allowing you to exchange belongings which would allow you to cut him out of your life and move on, he is holding onto his control. It can be really frustrating to try to make sense of abusive behaviour so it can be helpful to look at it through this lens of power and control.

      Take care and keep posting,
      Lisa

    • #148409
      Hereforhelp
      Participant

      Hello balloonstring, he is deliberately confusing you, they are masters at chaos. You would think when you end the relationship that you can both amicably sort out who has what, then one moves out and you heal, get on with your life. Not so with an abuser, he will keep himself in your life anyway he can, he will lie to you and confuse you as he wants to keep control.

      If you can could you put his stuff together and you decide when it suits you for him to collect, you could leave them outside if it is safe or with a trusted friend/family member and give your ex the date/time to collect. You do not have to answer his messages about this as no matter what you do he will complain about it. If it is his mail I would advise writing no longer at this address and posting them back to whoever sent them.

      Keep posting ❤️

    • #148552
      Balloonandstring
      Participant

      I hate how low and confused I feel. (Detail removed by Moderator).  I wish I either had the loving man I knew back or he just left me to get over him. This mix is hard. I still can’t understand why he abused me. We were long term friends.

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