So glad I’m doing this…

[backtome]

My new lock has just come, I’ve got my solicitor’s appointment booked and I’ve got my plan in place ready for a date in the very near future!

Last night was awful. He picked our lg up from school, let her fall asleep at (detail removed by moderator) then she woke up a few hours later and was up until midnight! So she’ll be very tired in school today. She was already put in timeout this week because she didn’t go to sleep until after (detail removed by moderator) one night and so was very cranky and naughty in school. Not only was she awake til midnight but he was horrid to her about it. Kept shouting at the top of his voice at her for not being asleep and telling her to get in her own bed, she’d come into me about (detail removed by moderator) and she was saying she was scared to go to sleep in case she had a bad dream. I think things are starting to affect her more now. He then forbid me from letting her watch tv in the morning (she usually watches while she gets dressed and eats breakfast).

I can’t wait til this is all over and I can have as little contact with him as possible. x

[iwillbeok]

Sending you strength to get through this trying time, hon! I’ve been away for a while now and while I’m still dealing with the emotional fallout, it really is so much better with him gone. There are no eggshells to tiptoe around, no conversations in my head trying to phrase things ‘just the right way’, no random temper tantrums. I’m safe in my own space, free to do what I want. One of the most satisfying things (maybe petty buy hey!) was deleting all his recorded TV shows!

Keep going hon, you can do this and you and your lg will be so much the better for it.

Peace x

[backtome]

Funny you should say about the TV shows, he has this ridiculous thing on my fire stick that lets him watch horror films any time of day, I can’t wait to delete it!

Thanks for the reassurance. x

[Janedoeissad]

I have sorted my escape date, spoke with WA to see if my plan is airtight and safe (it is). He is non the wiser and won’t know I have gone until he gets home and finds I am not there.

I am excited but extremely nervous. I really want to get out and I hope the conversation about me leaving does not go horribly wrong. I think I’ve thought of a good enough statement to make which explains things but does not leave it open to discussion.

I just want it to be 6 months down the line (when the house stuff will be sorted, etc) and then my life can start without him in it at all!

[backtome]

Ahhh good luck Janedoeissad! My situation is slightly different in that it’s my house (bought before I met him) and so it’s a case of changing the locks when he’s out. I also can’t wait til things have settled down.

I don’t have a statement prepared, just a text and then I have to meet him with whatever stuff he needs.

x

[Janedoeissad]

Backtome good luck to you too. I have my fingers crossed it goes well for you.

I debated just sending a text but I still feel obligation and responsibility even though I shouldn’t. So I’m going to call. Will probably get a barrage of abuse but it’ll be finally over after that, I b****y hope it will anyway. I’m ready for any fall out and nothing lasts forever so if he makes life difficult it won’t last.

I’ve been talking myself up for weeks. Every day I remind myself why I’m leaving. I’m terrified to tell him I’m leaving and so that terrified part of me keeps trying to back out.

[backtome]

I’m the same, talking myself up for weeks. I’ve got this trip coming up that I’m determined not to have ruined as my little girl is looking forward to it SO much. Once that’s done I’m doing the deed literally the day after. It’s so emotionally draining isn’t it, constantly battling with yourself and convincing yourself you’re doing the right thing.

You’re right though, nothing lasts forever and hopefully this will be the start of something better for us all on here. x

[Janedoeissad]

i think this place and my local WA have been my saviours. I would still be in the dark if it wasn’t for you lot and them.

I’m seriously debating having a freedom party once this is all over!! Ha ha!

Someone recently called someone a life sponge. They suck all the life and fun out of everything. I can’t wait to get rid of my life sponge!!

Keep us posted on how u get on. I really do have everything crossed for you (and myself). We ARE doing the right thing and we deserve a lot better than the life we have now.

[backtome]

OMG that is the perfect description. Someone described mine as a leech and someone who has literally sucked everything from my life.

I’ll keep posting, and hope to read how you’re doing too. I have everything crossed for you too, and all the other lovely ladies on here who deserve freedom and happiness. x

[KIP.]

A word of warning. Do not tell these men you are leaving when you are alone with them. Do not meet them alone to return belongings. No matter how much you want to do the ‘reasonable’ thing. Your safety comes first.

[backtome]

Thanks KIP, I was hoping to meet him in a public place with a bag, I’m not sure who I could take with me. I’m not sure any family members would feel comfortable coming with me. x

[Janedoeissad]

Thanks KIP

My possessions will be well gone before he returns as will I. So no need to meet him for anything.

Everything house related can be done over the phone.

If i ever need to go back to collect anything it will be with a entourage when he is definitely not there.

I put my whole plan past my local women’s aid to ensure I had thought of everything.

[Janedoeissad]

Backtome

Do you live near a large rail way station? Some of these do bag storage. You could drop the stuff off there and mail him the tag to pick it up?

Or does he have relatives you sort of trust who you could drop his stuff off to? Do it unannounced so he can’t get to hear you are going?

One final option is to ask your local police station to help?

It seems better to do one of those things than put yourself at risk

[Author]

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