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Saw my best friend yesterday. Just got married and exstatically happy. It just made me feel sorry for myself.
Just dropped the dog off; we’re sharing custody and it breaks my heart every time.
Feel so lost and alone 🙁
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*ecstatically
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Todays is also a bad day for me. While many days I feel I have moved on, last night I had a dream that I saw him and we kissed and it felt good. I woke up missing him and had a cry in a shower…. and whole day felt sorry that such love was wasted.
But then watched a domestic violence rap clip to remind myself that no they never change. Yes, its a good thing i left him. I could have been dead but i am not and i am fine.
I really understand how you feel xx -
I understand how you feel too. There was so much love at the beginning and my partner (I use the word loosely because I’ve really tried to resist contact recently) did so much for me. Throughout our months together there were little glimpses of verbal abuse but I didn’t know it was abuse and put it down to my partners medication etc. Then I bought my own house recently and we were down south at (detail removed by moderator). (detail removed by moderator) weeks after I bought my house he almost killed us both in the car and I had five hours of mental and some physical torture in that car journey home. He has broken us and almost broke me. Since then his attitude has been c**p and he has messed me about and gone is the beautiful man I wanted to spend my life with. Only in the past week have I started to sleep and eat again as I’ve not had him in my life and at my house. I really struggled yesterday because I missed him but it’s because I’m not remembering enough of what he did to me and because I’ve had peace for some time. He is constantly texting and saying he wants to share his birthday with me coming up. I missed his sister in laws hen do recently but how could I go and look people in the eye after what he did to me. I’m sure I’ll be the crazy one who didn’t go and let people down because his mum and brother have almost ‘normalised’ what he did and I have turned it on both of us being at fault!
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Hi Peacethroughhealing, well done for not sending him any texts, I’m so proud of you. You wrote he’s nearly broken you, and yes he’s tried, but you my lovely, are better and stronger than he will ever know. Time to block his number now too, if you can. Call it an experiment. See what he writes, if he incriminates himself when you don’t respond say for a week or two, then you really have your answer. just an idea, it’s not something you have to do. Sometimes we throw out suggestions, but it doesn’t mean we have to follow them through.
Take care and best wishes, you’re doing really, really well💕💕 -
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