Viewing 6 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #7855
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      When I got in my son (fuelled by his father no doubt) made comments about me drying my clothes inside. It was directed about my underwear, thongs were mentioned, to be honest my underwear is pretty boring not a thong in site.

      It really annoyed me as my abused would order me to wear sexy underwear, and though I didn’t I felt like shouting at him as your dad what he would get me to wear. (I would hide them when I wash them) He made me feel dirty when I wore them, I’m now getting flash backs.

      I do wash and dry my clothes else where normally but due to circumstances I cant do it at the moment, I know I shouldn’t care but I don’t want to cause issues over stupid things.

    • #7866
      Daisy
      Participant

      falling skys,
      Your son probably is being influenced by his father but that doesn’t make it right, and look at how it’s upsetting you – you count too.
      aren’t we all drying our clothes indoors at the moment,
      You are doing so well, despite it being such an awkward situation,
      Keep a diary secretly on your phone, all this can build up a picture,
      Well done for not making it an issue, but please stand firm
      Found you not get an ouster order for your abuser to be ordered to leave?
      Sending you a ((((hug)))) tonight
      X x x

    • #7886
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Thankyou daisy

      It’s not an ideal situation as he can still abuse me. But every day is near the end.

      Just the pettiness of it all and the way he manipulates our children, it still hurts at times.

      Why they are so cruel I will never know. I do keep a record of events, it’s a never ending barrage of covert abuse.

    • #7887
      White Rose
      Participant

      Sorry you’re being got at over the washing too. Good idea to keep a log – I do and its leaving me, my phone and my laptop groaning under the pressure.
      Your mention of being obliged to wear certain underwear made me feel cold. I’d forgotten this in the midst of everything else but I was always expected to wear thongs by him, and bras I hated. When I left I binned the lot and bought some nice normal pants (not granny pants but pretty feminine ones) I don’t have an issue with thongs but its the association with him that means I can’t cope at the thought.
      Send your laundry to me – we’re a girl only household and have pants in varying shapes and sizes on show!
      Just a thought……Where do you dry your son’s undies??!!
      Take care, chin up x*x

    • #7888
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Thankyou White Rose for your kind words and support xx

      My son and abuser tumble dryer everything…..

      I do like the idea of you doing my washing though 😉

      My undies are like yours feminine not designed for male titillation.

      I don’t mind dressing up, but in the end he made me feel that if I was a plank of wood with a hole in the right place and stockings on he’d be happy.

    • #7923
      Confused123
      Participant

      Give it time Hun , they say our kids have seen abuse so they mirror it , In time living with u there attidue will change , have been through that stage

    • #7967
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Sad to say he has chosen to go with dad. I know when I’m not there he will need a new whipping boy. Mu son and I spoke about it as he says he will be fine as he stronger than me…..

Viewing 6 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs

EXIT SITE

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account