16th January 2016 at 7:55 pm #7855
When I got in my son (fuelled by his father no doubt) made comments about me drying my clothes inside. It was directed about my underwear, thongs were mentioned, to be honest my underwear is pretty boring not a thong in site.
It really annoyed me as my abused would order me to wear sexy underwear, and though I didn’t I felt like shouting at him as your dad what he would get me to wear. (I would hide them when I wash them) He made me feel dirty when I wore them, I’m now getting flash backs.
I do wash and dry my clothes else where normally but due to circumstances I cant do it at the moment, I know I shouldn’t care but I don’t want to cause issues over stupid things.
16th January 2016 at 11:41 pm #7866DaisyParticipant
Your son probably is being influenced by his father but that doesn’t make it right, and look at how it’s upsetting you – you count too.
aren’t we all drying our clothes indoors at the moment,
You are doing so well, despite it being such an awkward situation,
Keep a diary secretly on your phone, all this can build up a picture,
Well done for not making it an issue, but please stand firm
Found you not get an ouster order for your abuser to be ordered to leave?
Sending you a ((((hug)))) tonight
X x x
17th January 2016 at 11:47 am #7886
It’s not an ideal situation as he can still abuse me. But every day is near the end.
Just the pettiness of it all and the way he manipulates our children, it still hurts at times.
Why they are so cruel I will never know. I do keep a record of events, it’s a never ending barrage of covert abuse.
17th January 2016 at 12:00 pm #7887White RoseParticipant
Sorry you’re being got at over the washing too. Good idea to keep a log – I do and its leaving me, my phone and my laptop groaning under the pressure.
Your mention of being obliged to wear certain underwear made me feel cold. I’d forgotten this in the midst of everything else but I was always expected to wear thongs by him, and bras I hated. When I left I binned the lot and bought some nice normal pants (not granny pants but pretty feminine ones) I don’t have an issue with thongs but its the association with him that means I can’t cope at the thought.
Send your laundry to me – we’re a girl only household and have pants in varying shapes and sizes on show!
Just a thought……Where do you dry your son’s undies??!!
Take care, chin up x*x
17th January 2016 at 1:11 pm #7888
Thankyou White Rose for your kind words and support xx
My son and abuser tumble dryer everything…..
I do like the idea of you doing my washing though 😉
My undies are like yours feminine not designed for male titillation.
I don’t mind dressing up, but in the end he made me feel that if I was a plank of wood with a hole in the right place and stockings on he’d be happy.
17th January 2016 at 11:19 pm #7923Confused123Participant
Give it time Hun , they say our kids have seen abuse so they mirror it , In time living with u there attidue will change , have been through that stage
18th January 2016 at 10:29 pm #7967
Sad to say he has chosen to go with dad. I know when I’m not there he will need a new whipping boy. Mu son and I spoke about it as he says he will be fine as he stronger than me…..
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