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Hi everyone, so I saw my doctor who has upped my antidepressants and signed me off work as I’m not doing so well with my depression. She suggested I talked to my health visitor about how I can talk to my little girl about her dad moving out etc. as I want to help her through it. I did and ended up telling her more about the emotional abuse etc. she’s contacted social services and is referring me to them. The thing is, I’m worried they will think im not safeguarding my little girl as I am letting her see her daddy, but only when someone is present whether it be myself or her nanny/aunty. They have been involved in the past, when she was a baby and more recently he was arrested as someone saw him smack her in public and called the police (nothing ever came of this).
one thing I cont understand, which isn’t really related to SS but is on my mind is that she is not withdrawn or unhappy or anything. On the whole she is a happy, bright, confident little girl and she always stands up for herself and is most definitely not scared or anxious.
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It sounds like your HV has been in touch with SS for more support of you and your daughter. They “know him” from the smacking they’ll want to know she’s safe which clearly she is as you’ve got things in place to be sure of that – plus she sounds fine too.
They can be a friend as well as a force to be reckoned with.
Keep up the good work x*x -
Something I’m thinking a lot about at the moment is how long the control and abuse went on for because I isolated myself with it all, and doing this only helped it to carry on, friends got snippets but didn’t really help as what I really needed was for someone to say he is a controlling and abusive man and this relationship is traumatic. I thought being the responsible parent and acting on behalf of my daughter was what I needed to do and thus remain in contact for this reason. I have now let go of this completely and I have no contact, I also welcome any of the services available to look out for us and fight him for us now if needed.
Sometimes the health professional’s own anxieties lead them to make the call because they don’t quite get what’s going on and are required to act in law so may well call when there isn’t really any need; then at other times there is a need; either way it sounds like they’re looking out for you both. It can be frightening letting anyone into the situation, especially when you are low and don’t really understand why there is a need, but it sounds to me you have faith you are doing OK as a parent – so hold on to that.
As you have said he is moving out – I’m wondering if the GP is concerned that this is going to be a difficult time for all of you? And some support might be good.
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