6th July 2016 at 8:54 am #21039Anon123Participant
I’m so concerned, social services are involved and I’ve been told that what my child says will be told to dad, yet they still have to,go,to contact. That’s going to make things worse for them , or dad will scare them into what to say, or most likely if told this they won’t share what’s happening.
Why do they not get a choice and are not protected,
Any ideas how I can help them Or who to speak to.
6th July 2016 at 10:31 am #21053AnonymousInactive
Hi Anon123, Who has told you that what your child says will be told to dad? x
6th July 2016 at 11:18 am #21065Anon123Participant
Family support worker told me herself.any ideas what I can do?
6th July 2016 at 11:52 am #21066AnonymousInactive
I would talk to the social worker as she/he is the one that will be disclosing what the child said, explain your concerns and tell them that they are potentially placing your child in a situation whereby they are unable to disclose anything further, that is so wrong what they are doing x
6th July 2016 at 12:25 pm #21069AyannaParticipant
You need to find out who their highest manager is and complain. Also involve your local MP.
This system is horrible. The more women resist the more likely it will change for the better.
6th July 2016 at 11:44 pm #21132Bridget Jones Is FreeParticipant
Hi Anon 123, I was told by my dv worker that whatever my daughter may wish to say, her dad would find out as he would have a right to access any information / comment mentioned.I think this can be abhorrent but it is only the normal course of “justice” so to speak, information has to be equally shared for the benefit of the doubt.
My daughter doesn’t want to speak, i think that is better for her, i don’t want her to go through an ordeal like talking to SS and her dad thinking badly of her. She just needs to stay happy and as little involved to preserve her happiness. She has gone through enough.
But i agree this type of situation is not the best to protect our children. So many mothers feel the same and i observed exactly the same scenario with the mums at the refuge i was in. None of it made sense.
It’s all protocol to be fair to all the parties involved but i am not sure if agencies realise the stress and danger some kids can be put through. I would hope exceptions to such rules would be made if a child was under severe danger and explanations needed to be divulged in “secret”. Surely this is properly assessed or the whole system needs reassessing!
I hope this will be resolved soon for your family. My own adult children don’t open up so i can’t get justice. I don’t think my older son confirmed witnessing what he saw a few years ago. I am still processing what happened to me and my situation is driving me crazy.
Tonight i was only mentioning to someone how i wished i had rang the police that day…we would be in a totally different situation by now. My kids would have been with me only, safe and aware of what is unacceptable. We all live in turmoil now.
If i had called the police, my kids would have been questioned in all likelihood, and their dad would have found out what his kids had to say…yet i am sure SS would have expected contact to remain open. To me it is ludicrous. I don’t really know what to think about this constant wish to keep contact rights open, and what’s best for a child who needs to speak about what they experienced.
I hope all goes ok for you xx
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