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    • #26553
      AlienStalker
      Participant

      Hi All

      I am new to the forums. I was in an abusive relationship, married no kids. I was young when i met him and we were together for a number of years. to cut a long story short I left getting as far away as I could.

      I heard he met someone else, had kids. I thought about his new partner, through guilt for what she would now be going through. He was very manipulative. I heard recently she did what I did and left him and the area. He forced her return by having her kids removed from her care calling her an unfit mum. She has them back for part of the week.

      I have always thought about getting in touch with her so I guess I am just wondering should I? I have been told by a family member to leave the past where it is. I think what I would hope to get out of it would be if i could help her in any way and make things even slightly easier. I have considered that I may be asked to go to court and I think I am more prepared to do that than i was when i was younger even though the thought of him still makes my skin crawl.

      Any input would be appreciated.

    • #26558
      Shelly123
      Participant

      Hiya, Its a hard one as you know what she is going through personally i wouldnt get in touch with her you dont know what kind of emotions or feelings it may stir up and you wouldnt want to put yourself in that place again when you have managed to get away once. You also may try and help her and she may not want the help where would that leave you? Im going with your family memeber and saying leave the past in the past x

    • #26597
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I think you should speak to her if you feel very strongly about it. You can find out from her whether she wants support or not.
      Going as a witness in court is a very heroic way of support. But if it helps to bring an abuser down and get justice for another women, why not. Women need to stand up for each other. That is the only way to defeat male violence.

      Madelaine Albright said: There is a special place in hell for women who do not support other women. x*x

    • #26604
      KIP.
      Participant

      I don’t know Madeleine Albright but I like her already. Hopefully there is a special place reserved for my husbands gf who he had the affair with, who gave a two page affidavit about how nasty I was and I’ve never even met or spoken to her!
      You could make a statement to the police. Then they will try to interview other past girl friends (her) and you’re kept out of it. She has the chance to speak up then.

    • #26609

      Dear Alienstalker, immediatly after I split from my ex, I contacted his ex wife on FB, purely because I was desperate to speak to someone that knew him well and I could share experiences with. I had never had any contact with her previously. I was so down at that point and thought he was a headcase, it would have helped me so much to discuss with her. I sent her a kind, short and respectful email. It was saying briefly what happened, how I felt and that it would help me to talk with her as I was feeling so sad. She did not reply to me.

      I have thought recently how I would react if any women he hooks up with contacts me in the future questioning his behaviour. I thought that I would not want to get involved as I would be scared of repercussions from him and his family. I might pass on info but only if it were guaranteed my name would never come out. X*X

    • #26696
      AlienStalker
      Participant

      Thanks everyone, given me a few things to think about before i make my mind up. Thing is the person that gave me the information was the family member so i feel like i am not escaping the situation and hearing about it brings up bad memories. Anyway thanks again 🙂

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