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    • #16927

      I have just remembered my ex saying to me once ‘I like to sing sometimes and the words normally express how I feel’. It was a throwaway comment and I thought no more of it. A while later he was singing to himself in the kitchen & I heard the words ‘I love you so much’. Aaahh I thought. A week later I heard his singing and heard the words ‘I don’t need you’. (cryptic gas lighting maybe). I never forgot those words but never mentioned it to him. We had not had an argument, problem or anything. This morning I thought to myself, i’m going on our holiday soon on my own and will have a fantastic time and now I DON’T NEED YOU! It felt good!

    • #16940
      Serenity
      Participant

      Oh my goodness, HA, another horrifying similarity between out exes- examples of cryptic and covert psychological abuse.

      My ex didn’t use songs much,but he left me cryptic messages in a card and he asked me what certain words meant, wanting to unnerve me.

      Looking back, I could feel stupid for not picking up
      on it as purposeful abuse, but then I suppose it’s because we aren’t made that way. We have a purer heart than them.

      Good riddance to the evil and arrogant abusers.

    • #16942
      Serenity
      Participant

      PS please don’t feel bad he hasn’t contacted you ( I read your other post). It is all power on his part.

      Any communication is toxic. It sets me back for days. I so envy you this freedom.

    • #16943

      Thank you for your sincere and kind feedback Serenity. No wonder we felt confused, insecure and unsure, the intermittent nice gestures thrown in made me so confused and my nerves were so on edge. What made it all the more difficult is that it were all done with a smile on his face and not an ounce of overtly malice or aggression. My insecurity around the relationship towards the end was off the scale.

    • #16954

      This is so dreadful. The worse part of it is the PLAUSABLE DENIABILITY, in other words they could just innocently be singing a song or playing a record they like without meaning anything to hurt us………..But it hooks into our psyche but because its not blatently obvious we cannot nail it down. Its disgusting and it really did make me mentally unwell. I believe it is meant deliberately to instill fear into us but doing it in a subtle way. Devious and cruel.

    • #16975

      (detail removed by moderator), what you have written makes me think that he has seen some vulnerability in you (mine was being abandoned) and he has purposely identified the words in the song which arouses your vulnerability and he is getting pleasure inside at watching your squirm. This is pure disgusting behavour and makes me so angry. In fact I am in a very revengeful mood right now, i have just started reading Revenge: How to Beat the N********t Kindle Edition
      by H G Tudor…………………. I might be brave and have a little dabble at playing him at his own game! (in some way, not decided how yet!) XXXXXXXXXXX

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