Son’s temper

[Dragonfly]

My son is being awful to me right now. I can’t afford to give him money so he’s stolen the 65p that was in my purse. I told him that’s stealing so he’s now punched several doors and threatened to jump out the window. We’re on the 2nd floor.

I’ve double locked the door and it’s driving him mad. He’s punching doors.

[Dragonfly]

He’s now sitting down swearing at me telling me I’m wrong. I can’t do this.

[dustypink]

Hi,
I don’t know the age of your son.
But I have read that when children are stealing from parents, they are “stealing love and attention”.
I didn’t get enough love & attention from my parents and I was stealing the money. This was my scream for help, but nobody heard me. I was blamed instead and punished.
Please, talk to him. May be he needs professional help.

[Dragonfly]

It’s purely because I refused to give him £20 to go to some buffet with his friend. Stealing money is never acceptable. Anyway, he calmed down and we went for a drive. He’s sorry (obv) but says he finds it difficult to control his feelings, he’s a teenager, and thus is what’s happened. I told him by shouting and swearing at me then punching a door is extremely violent. I don’t like it. We’ve talked about next time he feels like this he’s to say time out then he’ll go away and calm down.

[Lisa]

Hi Dragonfly,

It sounds like you are having a really stressful time, stealing is unacceptable and his behavior is very intimidating. It must have been frightening. If this continues you may want to speak to Respect, they work with perpetrators of domestic abuse but also work with young people that are being abusive to their parents. Your safety is really important.

Best Wishes,

Lisa

[Dragonfly]

Thanks lisa

[freedomtochoose]

Hello lovely
My advise would be. You need to report him to the police.
Right now. They might just be able to scare the shxxt out of him and thus tone his behaviour
down. Please hear me.
strong acton needed
all best
ftc
x

[KIP.]

Hi Dragonfly, it sounds like you handled it really really well. It’s very important that you keep the lines of communication open and set clear boundaries. My son went through a phase of kicking furniture and being very aggressive after his father was arrested. It’s never acceptable and as you say should not be put down to teenage behaviour. None of my nephews behaved this way. Please do not involve the police. Once you involve th police they can take it out of your hands and your child could have a criminal record at such a young age. The NSPCC have a great helpline and as Lisa suggested Respect. The main thing is he’s responding to you and recognises his behaviour is unacceptable and you could point out that it’s also illegal. Does he only behave this way round you? My son saved this behaviour for me behind closed doors which was worrying because it meant he could moderate his behaviour when needed. Wait till he’s calm and have a good talk. I used the time travelling in the car when there were no distractions. It’s a difficult thing to get through after what we had to go through with their father but we can learn from our experiences x

[Author]

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