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    • #35668
      lilaclady
      Participant

      Getting worse I was going to wait to find somewhere to rent but that’s taking too long so I am going to go as soon as I can. I remember my friend who is away the next few months gave me her key “just in case” and I suddenly remembered I can go and stay there with my son until we find somewhere. He is being so nasty I just don’t think I can stay. Just so grateful I have somewhere I can go to NOW.

      No idea how I am going to pack up and leave, probably when he is at work. Then I can start divorce proceedings once I am out.

      He just won’t stop, in a weird way I am glad he isn’t back to being nice as that’s so confusing and I doubt myself. Its time to go. Drawing every last bit of strength I have.

      Will keep posting as it happens as this forum has been such a help. xx

    • #35670
      EeyoreNoMore
      Participant

      Hey lilac, great news that you do have somewhere to go.

      Could you go and see the police and then when you are out have a police officer accompany you back to the house to get your things?

    • #35671
      lilaclady
      Participant

      Hey eeyorenomore – I have my brother in law who can always come with me (he’s not his brother married his sister and they are fully on my side) he can come and help me out and be there just in case. Planning to take a few bits now and then return once I have found a more permanent place to rent. Just got to get through the weekend so I can leave when he is at work.

    • #35672
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there, have you considered a non mol order to have him removed? That way you can stay there with your son? Speak to WA. Phone the helpline or get free legal advice from Rights for Women X

    • #35674
      lilaclady
      Participant

      Thanks KIP I will check out Rights for Women thanks xx

    • #35680
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Lilaclady,

      I just wanted to show you some support. Please do phone the helpline at your earliest safe opportunity. Leaving an abusive relationship can be a dangerous time and they can help you with a safety plan to ensure that you are as safe as you can be.

      You are doing brilliantly. Please keep posting to let us know how you are.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa
      Forum Moderator

    • #35683
      Lioness
      Participant

      I contacted the police on 101 (non emergency) let them know the situation and where you will be living, they will flag you and where you are living as a priority should he turn up or cause any worry to you. That is what I did and they were brilliant. They came out to see me at my ‘safe’ address. They asked me if I wanted them to go speak to him, which they did. I think that is what has made him stay away. Glad you have people to help with moving too, Thinking of you x

    • #35838
      lilaclady
      Participant

      Thanks all..

      So I haven’t left yet. Things are a lot calmer we managed to talk (not sure if I should have done this or not but he was having a rational calm moment). He has told me all the things you’d expect now he knows I am leaving, that he will change that he has been a fool to behave the way he did, that he’s sorry, that he is going to make big changes (he made a list of all the things he is going to do now). But I feel like its a bit late for that now so I am still going. Looking for a place to rent. And also if things turn bad again (which I know they could know I have told him I am leaving) I have my friends place to go to so I can easily pack up and leave while he is at work.

      Husband now being SUPER NICE. He seems to think that if he behaves right I will stay. I won’t. I do feel a little bad as when we talked and he started crying and telling me about all the changes he is going to make I did say well maybe IF you make those big changes we can fix things. But I am resolute that I am leaving you I won’t be your emotional punching bag anymore and IF you make HUGE changes and I mean HUGE then maybe we can fix things. I feel like I am giving him false hope and feel bad about that.

      I have a lawyer I have seen before that I can use also just in case. So the aim is to find a place and move out all the while with him knowing. If he becomes nasty then I am out quick as and contacting my lawyer.

    • #35840
      Robin
      Participant

      It’s great that you have options now. It must also be kinda a release about being honest about going – I want to do the same but having left before (he emailed me begging him to come back) I would really recommend ‘no contact’s. Arranging to meet with him so soon before I left was my downfall. Please make sure you have essentials in your car, just in caseTake care and be safe x

    • #35851
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi Hun

      Glad u had your chat but still start pre packing and removing things, when u have place u can move everything , is it a possibility that u could store your things in your friends place

    • #35853
      lilaclady
      Participant

      Robin – options is good. And I think you are totally right about no contact. It just makes things more confusing and harder than they already are.

      Confused123 – I could store at my friends if I need to.

      He’s still saying he will change he doesn’t want to lose me but he will respect my decision to leave if that’s what I want. My gut says leave my heart says should I give him a chance… But I know deep down that these man cannot really change

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