4th March 2021 at 8:01 pm #122751CatjamParticipant
I started feeling really uncomfortable when it came to sex. He used to push me to do things i wasn’t happy with. Not by force but by making me feel like a bad wife or boring, or give me the silent treatment and withdraw. If i said no he would keep me awake until I gave in but I would try to put him off by not joining in but that only seemed to make it better for him. Sometimes it was really painful and I would cry in pain but he would keep going. If i tried to push him off he would get in a strop or keep going telling me I loved it really.
Sometimes I would wake up and he was having sex with me then claim the next day I had imagined it.
The thing is I said a few months ago no more. I started sleeping in pyjamas and have point blank refused to back down no matter how guilty I feel. At the same time I told him I had spoken to the gp about abuse and was getting help.
Suddenly he can control himself, I woke up in the early hours of this morning and realised that he was capable of respecting my wishes.
Don’t get me wrong I know this isn’t him changing at all but it’s funny how things he also claimed were happening whilst asleep no longer do. It’s made me feel cheap and vulnerable though, not sure why all of a sudden.
4th March 2021 at 9:10 pm #122758KIP.Participant
Because you’re waking up to the fact he’s a rapist and has been gaslighting you for years. It’s stopped because you told him you were talking to your GP about it. And he can no longer hoodwink you. I used to wear pyjamas all the time. With pants underneath. I can’t tell you how lovely it is to sleep in the nude now. It’s so nice x I hope you get your freedom soon, you deserve better x
5th March 2021 at 11:33 am #122773DarcyParticipant
My beautiful angel …Catjam
It sounds to me that you are stepping back into your power … well done
Keep continuing to do this… you cant change him but by changing yourself you can change the situation, however slowly this may seem to take.
These men are bullies and work on intimidation … when you stand strong they back down as they have no where to go.
I know how extremely difficult it is to stand up to these type of men, especially when they have worn you down so I am so pleased you took this step … keep moving in this direction … back into you power … back into the life you truly deserve
I am so proud of you
Sending you love and support
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