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    • #116144
      Rising Tide
      Participant

      Now that my abuser is out of the house, it feels like emptying piles of old junk out of an extra bedroom. It all feels a bit empty, yet so open to possibilities. I’m journaling, taking long walks and trying to heal through self care. But I also feel ready to fill my life with more meaning, to re-discover my interests and my passions. I want to start that next chapter of my life beyond being a survivor of abuse.

      Would anyone be willing to help inspire me with your stories? Did you start a business? Join a running club? Learn a language?

    • #116146
      KIP.
      Participant

      I campaigned and succeeded in changing the law for victims of domestic abuse. I’m still involved in making positive changes to the justice system for victims. And I get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other every day 💕

    • #116150
      Same-again
      Participant

      Hi Rising Tide and KIP.

      I feel very much the same in terms of wanting to ‘DO’ something.

      I do have a dream although whether it will come to fruition who knows. We shall see.

      It was after reading a book which I think KIP recommended a while back. ‘The body keep the score’ was the title I think. Not just the book but that was where the seed kinda started.

      Anyway, long story short I want to try and set up a yoga type retreat (abroad) which offers healing (various) for those affected by trauma. I don’t have the money or the experience btw – at the moment it is a pipe dream. I do have a Yoga teaching certificate which I did years ago but didn’t do anything with (was working fulltime etc) but that’s all. I’ve had a few ideas (please don’t laugh) about funding and thought people who end up with an award from CICA might want to donate?! Maybe also donate but that entitles them to a free stay per year – like a community so not just the monetary donation but perhaps the donation of their time/gift/skills/kindness/understanding/involvement?!

      Told ya it was a pipe dream but hey – if I can’t voice it here where can I.

      The problem at the moment is my heads so foggy I can’t even sort out the broadband ffs! It’s the abuse/trauma and I know it will pass and before I gave up my job (recent – due to HIM/the abuse) I was good at stuff. 🙁

      Each day at a time.

      xx

    • #116152
      KIP.
      Participant

      What a great idea 💡. I know the national lottery have funding and you should start there when you’re ready with a plan. I’d start locally as I bet there’s lots of people nearby who are perhaps not ready to travel. What a thing to motivate you too. I’d definitely join in 💕 there was such a lack of treatment and understanding for my trauma. A great piece of advice was to hug pillows and cushions for trauma. It’s really comforting so you could hand them out with your logo on. What would you call it?

    • #116153
      KIP.
      Participant

      You could run it as a charity which opens the door to lots more funding.

    • #116157
      Same-again
      Participant

      Hi KIP, thanks SO much for your response.

      Not sure about local at the moment as I’ve just recently given a statement to the police about stuff he’s done. He forced himself on me and they are investigating. He was also having sex with me while I was asleep. Urgh.

      I await all that fun. Yay. Totally agree on the trauma front as in the support isn’t really there. Like the advice re: a pillow. I will try as been having a lot of nightmares recently. Very intense & disturbing.

      Anyway, enuf of that horrid stuff – the name I’ve been trying to think of but haven’t come up with anything I like.

      All suggestions welcome. Sanctuary?

      xx

    • #116161
      KIP.
      Participant

      Mine too was a sexual abuser. Rape crisis have a great helpline should you need to talk to someone.
      Maybe not too local then lol. At the moment but you won’t always feel this way. One day you will own your local area. Head held high.
      I like the idea that butterflies come from their cocoons like us survivors, they break free and fly away.
      I like the lotus flower that grows in mud yet blooms into a beautiful 🌺 flower.
      I like the idea of serenity and strength. Plenty time to think about it and gives you something to concentrate on when things get tough. I also found mindfulness to be a great help x start gathering from your own experience all the things that help you on your path to recovery x get a cork board and stick ideas, logos, colours, different types of therapies you want to include. Sounds fantastic x people use horses and their stables as a business for therapy now so there must be lots of information out there on business ideas. Small business loans etc. It’s great you have a yoga certificate. Maybe there’s a course you can take for yoga for trauma x

    • #116182
      Rising Tide
      Participant

      These are both amazing! I love the empowerment to help others heal from someone who understands.

      KIP, that is amazing you’ve made a measurable difference. Getting laws changed is immense!

      Same-again, your idea sounds entirely do-able! I listen to meditation for healing from trauma and would love a yoga retreat. That book is on my reading list, as looking back it’s amazing how my body knew long before my brain did.

      My day job is amazing at making a difference in the world including (detail removed by Moderator). \what I want now is more of a brain-space filling hobby. I used to do long distance (detail removed by Moderator), but that’s not reasonable with kids during a pandemic. I just need something to think about that isn’t related to abuse or trauma. A little mental vacation from the seriousness of it all!

    • #116188
      KIP.
      Participant

      Have a look at cross stitching. You can get some amazing kits and it takes your mind away following a pattern x

      • #116253
        Rising Tide
        Participant

        I love that idea! I was looking into soap carving, but your idea sounds much less messy 🙂

    • #116257
      KIP.
      Participant

      Yes and you have a lovely permanent picture when youre finished. You could choose and inspirational image x google cross stitch kits x

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