Special needs mum trying to get out

[Primroseyellow]

Without going in to too much detail about my kids as it would identify me, my ‘escape’ depends on specialist care services being arranged. Husband has agreed we should separate and that he will go. It’s how to manage while waiting for everything to get sorted and not knowing if funding for it is going to be agreed or not. The abuse is ongoing. Not violent as such yet, the worst I’ve had is a cup full of drink thrown at me, but things have been getting progressively worse over several years. Having made the decsion and spoken up I just want him out ASAP so I can look after myself for a change. I have put up with this for years so I could care for my kids until they are old enough/ready enough to move on. It still hurts so much as the youngest is under 18 but I know I am keeping them safe and doing my best for them by.letting go. I actually don’t now feel any emotion about the marriage, evenbthough it’s been many years, his behaviour has killed it, I’m relieved more than anything. Trying to do ‘me’ things away from the house, but it’s frustrating, if I could pack a bzg and go I would, but that is not possible to to caring responsibilities.

[KIP.]

Well done for taking this huge step. Can you ring the helpline on here for advice. Throwing a drink on you is assault. Getting him removed from the property is an option. These men are most dangerous when we try to end things so expect an escalation in his behaviour and ring the police if you have to. Mine agreed to move out but had no intention of going anywhere x you are right and I can tell you it’s great to have time to spend on me and doing the things I want to do with my life. If I make a mistake then at least it’s my mistake. I hope you’re getting the help you deserve x

[Primroseyellow]

Thank you KIP, I have flagged to key professionals involved and been in touch with IDAS. I have an appointment with them next week for some practical advice. Apart from the waiting I’m not too anxious about that side of things at present. It’s the emotional side that is very hard, it’s me that keeps the whole family going and keeping a calm and controlled appearance is vital for my kids sake (and mine as one has aggressive challenging behaviour) I have to keep strong through this because if it goes to pot one ir both could end up in ond of those (detail removed by Moderator) LD (learning disability) hospitals. Of course he will threaten that (Although I know he fears it as much as I do) The hardest part is how isolated I am both through the abusr and LD. The people who understand my children’s needs best are professionals and not appropriate for them to talk to me beyond a little. The SW has responsibility primarily to child but also to both myself and husband so whilst she offerred to talk wants his views too. I went to IDAS a few years ago and spent most of my session explaining the LD complications.

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