Stalking?

[Weemebreeze]

Hi everyone, Is this stalking or am I over-reacting? I visited (detail removed by moderator) today and apparently as I left in my car, my abusive ex went out immediately in his car for a few mins. I don’t visit often (because of proximity to my ex) but every time I’ve visited, he’s done the same or similar (such as coming outside and pretending he’s getting something out the boot). According to the neighbours he goes out in his car for a few mins a day, several times a day. He didn’t do this when we were together and it’s not enough time to get to a shop. The issue is that we think he’s driving past where I live. I’ve seen him every few days, he never stops and I have no contact with him, plus it’s (detail removed by moderator) so it’s not that unusual … it’s just the frequency and the fact he’s going out after seeing me, it’s like he’s checking up on my movements. It could be nothing and totally innocent , just feels a bit weird as it’s not behaviour that he did when I was with him. I should add that he knows where I live. It’s like he’s just driving past me several times a day or checking if I’m in x

[Darcy]

Hi beautiful Angel,
I think the best thing you can do if you are worried about this is stop visiting the area where he lives!
If you want to see your ex neighbours arrange to meet them elsewhere, I am sure they will understand why
Going near where he lives is just playing with fire, I don’t quite understand why you would do that
Please do not put yourself at risk by letting him find out where you live now
Sending you continued love and support
Darcy xx

[Grey Rock]

Hiya.

Trust your gut. It’s worth logging times that you see him doing drive-bys, and take as many precautions as you can to avoid him.

GR

[Weemebreeze]

Thank you! My gut does say it’s a bit weird because there’s no logic to driving past so often but equally he’s not in touch with me, hasn’t stopped etc and my anxiety is just really bad at the moment so I think I’m freaking out about nothing . I’ll keep a log though and see how it goes. Thanks again xx

[Weemebreeze]

Hi Darcy,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I left off a lot of specific details because i thought they would just get edited out – I look back over my message and realise without the details the obvious thing is to say stay away.

I live in a really rural small area with my family who have lived here for decades. He lives (detail removed by moderator) away as he refused to move (even though he has no ties here), he lives with his new partner. The ex neighbours are my best friend of over (detail removed by moderator). We were going for a catch up in another destination and to avoid different cars , as I was passing, I offered to collect. I’ve only done that 2 or 3 times in the past year as obviously want to stay away. I’ve found the past month so hard with working from home, no social stuff etc so was desperately needing to see friends but I get that I should find another way to meet them. It’s just all so unfair, after all this time , having to avoid friends and go out if my way to do things differently , it’s annoying. Him driving up and down outside my house is probably the bit that worries me slightly more – I’ll keep a log. Unless I move away entirely (which I’m reluctant to do for cost, being away from family etc) then I have no option to be hidden from him because of where I live. Anyway, it’s probably nothing and just me getting carried away , and avoiding my ex neighbours would limit any sightings so that should help. I just thought he’d moved on – I suppose I was surprised to think he might still be fixated on me despite him having a new partner . Thanks again xx

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