Stalking behaviours… Changing phone number going under the radar.

[Lilycat]

Hi Ladies,

I am trying to shake off unwanted stalking behaviours from my abusers. My soon to be ex-husband sends me unwanted correspondence, texts and gifts. My soon to be former stepchild has not contacted me since I left the house but I have a gut feeling they are trying to get nearer and nearer, this year they have been working in the same neighbourhood and are now (removed by moderator). The stepchild has had a strange sadistic and most probably sexual obsession with me (they used to lick my drinking cups, use my toothbrushes and take my underwear, as well as abuse me psychologically, emotional and trash my belongings, etc).

I am just wondering how far under the radar I should go to shake them off. I want to change my mobile number, but having my soon to be ex keep contacting me means that I at least know where he and his offspring will pop up next. But, I think he has been tracking my phone, because he knows things that you could not possibly know unless you had seen me up-close.

I am creeped-out and feel sick at the thought of them.

Help.

Lilycat x

[Lisa]

Hi Lilycat,

I’m sorry to read that your ex is continuing to harass and stalk you. I understand your intention behind having some contact so that you can be aware of what he is doing in order to try to protect yourself. However, unfortunately he is likely to use that contact as a means to continue the abuse.

As the other forum users often advise, no contact is the most effective way of separating yourself from an abuser. You can report all of his harassment to the police. You could also consider taking out a non-molestation order. You can find out more about this on the NCDV website or the Rights of Women website.

There is some good practical advice on the National Stalking Helpline website.

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[Lilycat]

Hi Lisa,

Many thanks for the advice and the affirmations.

Unfortunately, I am dealing with two obsessive personalities, who are twisted in different ways.

I have a soon-to-be ex who can’t seem to let go and thinks that, just because we do not yet have a decree absolute in place, he has the right to send me texts and check up on me because I am still his wife by law. I was invited to meet with the police a while ago, but as the texts do not appear to be malicious they said he was probably just lonely and they could do very little.

Recently, my stepchild convinced their mother (my ex’s first wife) that they were begging for my forgiveness and pining in self-hatred for abusing me. Foolishly I replied. Soon after I replied to their mum to pass on a message of forgiveness they decided to do something that may see us being in very close proximity on a day to day basis.

I feel such an idiot for falling for their games. They know that my belief system encourages forgiveness, so they have a clever way of manipulating me. They are so sick and cruel. No contact with them and with all family members is really the only way forward.

[Author]

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