Still feel damaged

[Seven]

Hello sisters, I’ve been out of the madness for several years. Have my own place and continue trying to heal my children and myself. Its been a struggle but I try to stay strong and positive. Unfortunately I was isolated and lost touch with friends and family and am really struggling to make new friends as I hide who or what I went through. I really don’t know what to say and don’t do small talk well. I feel fake but my new job which requires me to be social is a real struggle. It got so bad that I felt like a trapped animal inside. No one would guess I lack self esteem as I carry myself very confidently but I crumble when socialising and find excuses not to join in and I fear being found out. I dont think my body can take much more of this burden to communicate. I’d really like to find a group where I can find strategies to cope or speak with those who understand what I mean.

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Seven

Welcome and sorry for your struggles. It does sound as if you have done so well to come this far, and to leave the abuse behind you.

Its a shame you had to leave precious friends behind too, are you now so far away that you couldn’t arrange meetups with some of the most trusted ones? It is hard to start again, especially when you have been through so much in getting there and then find yourself with this hang over from the abuse.

Be patient with yourself and as nurturing as you can be. Its amazing that you also have work after the abuse, and that you can keep going this way. Take your time, be gentle with yourself and keep your boundaries until you are ready to let someone in, there’s no rush, and you can always post here amongst other women who well understand how this feels.

Do you know if there are any other womens recovery-type groups running locally? Often an area that runs a freedom programme will run a recovery group course of some sort too. There may be somethinglike this around you that you could join and get valuable peer group support whilst you continue your personal recovery. How about something like Mind? They are quite good if you can get a support worker with them to help you start building confidence and over-coming your current anxieties socially as I think they gradually build from 1-2-1 onto small peer groups and then various group activities.

It may help to join a hobby-based group? If you like gardening, or cycling, cooking, book groups, things like this, or something of your own that you enjoy. Your GP may be able to link you up with a group via social prescribing which can really help with social anxiety.

warmest wishes

ts

[Seven]

Thank you TS for reaching out to me it means a lot. I am desperately trying to find a support group in the area but am finding it challenging. I will take another look at MIND and the freedom programme as I feel I’m in crisis and don’t want to go backwards.

[Hereforhelp]

Hey Seven, I found speaking to my female GP a help, also my local citizens.advice bureau has help for DA victims in my area including courses (i emailedthe CAB outling what i had been subjected to and why i need support. Did you say you had done the freedom programme? If yes you can contact the DA worker who ran it and ask for other groups they run. Or redo the Freedom Programme.

You sound strong, have been incredibly strong and now you need some support/help to move on…. it took me just over a year to start to feel like me again, the real me not the abused woman I was with XH.

Keep posting ❤

[Seven]

Thank you H, your advise is most welcome. I didn’t do the freedom programme but its does seem like the way for me to go. I will look into a programme near me.
Thank you so much x

[Seven]

Thank you H, your advise is most welcome. I didn’t do the freedom programme but its does seem like the way for me to go. I will look into a programme near me.
Thank you so much x.

[Author]

Posts