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    • #97619
      starqueen
      Participant

      I’ve had some fairly recent experience of controlling, manipulative and emotional blackmail behaviour from a family member and in some ways I’m struggling to make my own decisions. I feel like the control, fear and guilt is still there sometimes. How do you learn to start being yourself again? I feel like I don’t know what’s right and wrong, what’s true and what isn’t, and who I can trust. It’s also hard to know that you can be manipulated and controlled like this.

    • #97633
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I’m feeling the same. controlling behaviour came from my ex and I am out of the relationship but I don’t know how to get back to being me I’m starting to rember the things I used to do and my personality that had been taken away from me. I get real anxiety for example my brother and his wife had asked if I wanted to go for coffee and I just couldn’t the thought of being in a social situation just doesn’t seem possible and that was my own family asking for coffee.

    • #97699
      starqueen
      Participant

      It’s really difficult isn’t it? Some days feel easier than others. I feel like I’m making real progress on some days but on others it’s like I’m right back where I started. I think I’ve had an emotional flashback today and I’m starting to doubt myself, like maybe I wasn’t supportive enough and maybe I did misinterpret things/get the wing end of the stick. I know though that that’s very likely because those were the kind of things I would get from him, so it’s that experience talking rather than my own feelings.

      I hope you manage to find a way forward too, I think we’ll find/re-find who we are eventually! x

    • #97722
      Cecile
      Participant

      My journal and written account of his actions to me are currently saving my sanity. I know will help me recover long term as they show the reality.

    • #98145
      starqueen
      Participant

      I have some text messages he sent and things he’s written down which have been really helpful because I can see it in black and white. It’s still possible that I’ll try to rationalise it in my own mind but seeing it helps to put it in perspective.

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