- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 1 month ago by starqueen.
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13th February 2020 at 4:26 pm #97619starqueenParticipant
I’ve had some fairly recent experience of controlling, manipulative and emotional blackmail behaviour from a family member and in some ways I’m struggling to make my own decisions. I feel like the control, fear and guilt is still there sometimes. How do you learn to start being yourself again? I feel like I don’t know what’s right and wrong, what’s true and what isn’t, and who I can trust. It’s also hard to know that you can be manipulated and controlled like this.
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13th February 2020 at 6:49 pm #97633AnonymousInactive
I’m feeling the same. controlling behaviour came from my ex and I am out of the relationship but I don’t know how to get back to being me I’m starting to rember the things I used to do and my personality that had been taken away from me. I get real anxiety for example my brother and his wife had asked if I wanted to go for coffee and I just couldn’t the thought of being in a social situation just doesn’t seem possible and that was my own family asking for coffee.
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14th February 2020 at 1:51 pm #97699starqueenParticipant
It’s really difficult isn’t it? Some days feel easier than others. I feel like I’m making real progress on some days but on others it’s like I’m right back where I started. I think I’ve had an emotional flashback today and I’m starting to doubt myself, like maybe I wasn’t supportive enough and maybe I did misinterpret things/get the wing end of the stick. I know though that that’s very likely because those were the kind of things I would get from him, so it’s that experience talking rather than my own feelings.
I hope you manage to find a way forward too, I think we’ll find/re-find who we are eventually! x
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14th February 2020 at 3:55 pm #97722CecileParticipant
My journal and written account of his actions to me are currently saving my sanity. I know will help me recover long term as they show the reality.
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20th February 2020 at 11:41 am #98145starqueenParticipant
I have some text messages he sent and things he’s written down which have been really helpful because I can see it in black and white. It’s still possible that I’ll try to rationalise it in my own mind but seeing it helps to put it in perspective.
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