Still in such a mess

[enofadov]

Out since last year and although I have good days and bad I’m still in such a mess.
Going through the courts for contact and finances also being pestered face to face whenever he gets the kids. I doubt myself every conversation. It chips away at me Nd I just feel so sad. Now I’m just scared I was over exaggerating. Close friend and councillor keep trying to remind me but it’s the disbelief is just getting worse. Will I ever get the clarification I need?
Ugh what a babbly message…..sorry just feeling so down tonight

[Apricotpoppy]

Hi Enofadov, sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. We were starting to become enlightened and got out at similar times. I didn’t post for a long time just trying to understand what had happened.
I remember your story and the nasty coercive control and horrible abuse you suffered. You were so strong and amazing to overcome your fears and doubts, cut the trauma bonds and take your children out. To create a more peaceful home.
It is really hard doing the modified contact as we are still subject to their emotional abuse tactics I find.
It uses a up a lot of my energy and thoughts because I feel sad for him when he is doing his poor me routine, wondering if I can help. Then I get annoyed and angry and think he could have had it all if he had just made some positive changes . Well probably a major personality remodel is required tbh !
I do hope you start feeling better soon. Try and do some nice simple things with the kids- my friend always tells me just put it aside snd focus on you and the kids.
I haven’t had to do any court stuff yet so I do feel for you, it sounds very difficult.
It is hard to keep going with all the self help techniques when we are exhausted. I am going to listen to my guided meditation now its all I can manage.
Apricotpoppy x

[lover of no contact]

enofadov,

You have done so well to break free from the cycle of abuse you were in with him. I remember it well from your posts and I can see how far you have come to have broken free from an abusive relationship which imo is one of the hardest things to do in life. You have done a huge and terrifying and courageous thing in getting yourself and kids away from daily torture.

The progress seems slow and to rebuid ourselves and our lives is slow, and just takes time, lots of it. You are still very early days so you will be feeling your life is still unmanageable. Some days will be worse than others and all you can do is do what you have done and reached out for support. Keep taking small self-care steps daily and keep moving forward and all these small steps add up.

Be gentle and kind with yourself as you are only relatively a short time free.

[enofadov]

Thank you so much for the support. X*x

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