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I know what I need to do, but I don’t know how. Financial worries, worries over how he will react.
I by no means deserve how he treats me, my life is so much more relaxed when he isn’t in the house.
I feel like I am always looking over my shoulder when he is around. I am constantly monitored.
With everything he has put me through, why am I finding it so hard to just end the relationship and tell him to leave?! -
Telling him to leave sounds much scarier than leaving to me – and therefore is probably harder. Have you contacted women’s aid to get a plan organised as to how to get him out safely? I am assuming the house is in your name and that is why you can’t leave. If it isn’t there may be other options – for example if it’s a council house in your name the council should be able to move you to a different property to keep you safe. It’s a big step to take, but by the sounds of it, not one you will regret. Keep posting, and reach out for the real life help that women’s aid can give too.
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Hi Lightning-Jet,
Ending a healthy relationship is really difficult, let alone ending an abusive one. Like you say there is financial worries, the threat of his reaction and what he may do – especially when we know leaving an abusive relationship is a very dangerous time…you say you know what you need to do – give yourself some credit for that, by you acknowledging that in itself means you have already taken a huge step in moving forward. You also say why is it so hard to tell him to leave – maybe because you know that he isn’t going to leave or it will be really hard to make him go? I tried to break up with my ex several times and he made threats to leave me often, but he would never go. They don’t want to, they enjoy the drama of the abuse.
When you are constantly monitored and living on edge every day, it makes planning incredibly difficult and even thinking about logistics harder too. I found it hard to be able to make the phone call to Women’s Aid or make a Clare’s Law application when I was with my ex, and we didn’t even live together. If you are able to make a call to Women’s Aid and speak to them safely, then please do because it can really help to speak with a professional about options – they can really help.
Keep posting on here, take care of yourself and look after yourself <3 x*x
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