Still struggling (detail removed by moderator) years on

[PurpleTriangle]

Hello, I left my emotional abusive relationship (detail removed by moderator) years ago, I was in the relationship for (detail removed by moderator) years. I truly thought I would be able to cope with the emotions and anxiety issues, as I have no contact with my ex now, but in the last year I’m now having flash backs of memories I have suppressed and taking my frustrations out on people who care about me. My friends know that I have been in an abusive relationship, but only the bare facts, I don’t want their sympathy about what happened to me and I truly believe they wouldn’t understand the whole aspect of it. I have been to my doctors today to ask for counselling and that has left me feeling like they couldn’t care less, I got palmed off with a leaflet that tbh I feel doesn’t cover what I need. I feel like I’m going around in circles and I can’t move forward with my life as my past is still controlling my future. I don’t know who to talk to about this anymore.

[KIP.]

Hi, I’ve been out about the same time and I’ve had counselling and am still having counselling. I’ve been diagnosed with depression anxiety and PTSD. Try to find a local charity through your local women’s aid. I found one and it’s free. A survivor group where you can find women to validate your feelings. Like me you’re probably still trying to deal with the trauma and that takes specialist care. Can you afford private counselling or can your work refer you to someone trained in domestic abuse? Try reading The Body Keeps The Score or Mind Over Mood. I had similar feelings due to the abuse. It takes time for our minds to work out what happened to us and sometimes when we are safe, our mind takes that opportunity to process the abuse and danger.

[PurpleTriangle]

Hi Kip. Once I calmed down and stopped my tears, I found a couple of local charities that deal specifically with domestic abuse, so I will try those. I don’t work at present, I had to leave my previous job as my ex wouldn’t stop calling me there and it caused too much stress for me to be able to stay. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression some time ago after my mum died when I was younger, subsequently my ex played on them and made them a whole lot worse. I did have counselling to help with them but as I moved away to a different area after I left him, I wouldn’t be able to use those services again. I’m so glad I found this site, I do think it will be a great help to me, talking to people like yourself, that understand what I’m feeling.

[Halfofmyself]

KIP may I say that you are an inspiration, the positive messages and encouragement you give should be commended considering you are going through this trauma too.

[KIP.]

Absolutely. You need people who understand and validate your experience. People who don’t or can’t understand can bring us right down. Feel free to personal message me if you need to. You can recover from this. I can’t tell you how far I’ve come with a good support network. I’m now doing an introduction to Psychology course and loving it. I didn’t have the headspace when I was being abused or even several years after. Abuse drains us of energy and headspace long after we leave. It took me a long time to read a book again I had no concentration x

[PurpleTriangle]

I love reading it helps me relax and takes me to another place, if I am stressed. Music is another thing that helps me relax. I am still jumpy even now at the slightest unexpected noise, I can literally jump out of my skin at some things, to the amusement of my friends, I find it hard to explain to them why it happens.

Good for you KIP on doing the Psychology course, I know I would never have the patience to do that kind of thing. I hope it goes really well for you.

I have emailed one of the local charities I found, I will update you if I get an answer from them.

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