Still stuck in the middle

[Ssss]

It feels good to be out… I am so glad… should have done it sooner.. much sooner.. like when everyone told me to… anyway I’ve done it now….
except my life is total hell really is worse than ever… not him… my children…
And looking at their behaviour I realise the extent of what I lived with.. they have had the best teacher.. they are both battling to be the man of the house… I am (detail removed by moderator) months out and it has taken me this long to realise… they are perfectly behaved out… people comment how well behaved and well mannered they are… yet if left alone they will trash the house refuse to do anything.. and treat me like he did but worse… if one is ok the other one isn’t… but sometimes they will gang up on me.. and I Carnt always explain..what’s happening.. I cannot really think anymore.. we all went away for a week stayed with a friend and I realised how bad it was then.. fine when in presence of others but when we were alone.. it took me this time to realise… but it is very difficult to explain..am swore at and name called by one obviously only when alone..just like him sometimes they will be nice polite and helpful and then they can turn and get called the most horrific names… fat f—-n c–t I was called over and over yesterday.. and when I didn’t bite but said right eveytime you swear I will take some of your money off you.. he went beserk and swore a lot more and kicked some doors and threw coats on floor and everything in his path..I am struggling..

[KIP.]

It’s a dreadful thing and I went through it too, although mine was very brief and my son was older and moved out, thank goodness. My advice is to get outside help. Ring women’s aid and ask for help. Get in touch with any local children’s charities that may help and also the police will have a list of local charities that may be able to offer help. THE NSPCC helpline I’ve heard are fantastic too. Their behaviour is unacceptable and even if you try to put boundaries in place, they’re using violence and threats of violence kicking doors, throwing things. My son was six foot tall and it was very triggering for me. It’s so hard to explain that your children can trigger your PTSD. It’s even harder when they gang up on you. Perhaps when they’re both calm, I used to talk to my son when we were driving somewhere as he couldn’t get away, explain how hurtful their behaviour is and how it’s upsetting you and that you need their support or you simply won’t be able to cope. Do they still have contact with their dad? Is he influencing their behaviour?

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Ssss, I’m so happy to hear you’re still away from him. I’m (detail removed by moderator) months+ now. My daughter said how wonderful it would be once I left, how we’d have a better relationship, I’d see my son and grandson more too. Nope none of that’s happened, if anything I notice just how awful her behaviour is towards me now. She too had the best teacher, him.
I’ve just completed a course run by my local WA, please get in touch with yours, they can help your children so much. Let your doctor know too so they can be put on the waiting list for psychological help.
My heart goes out to you, to have had the courage to leave, to only find yourself in this situation is just dreadful. You can’t fix this on your own. The children are confused, angry and scared and mum gets it every bl..dy time.
Take care IWMB

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