Stranger Danger vs Dangerous Familliar

[Anonymous]

We all hear about how to protect against stranger danger, to the point of the abusers now using it as a gold star… perhaps a paedophile sees merit in telling the school they support children learning stranger danger, to keep them from looking at their own behaviour.

But, how do you strengthen your child to notice grooming behaviour, strengthen them against ‘mind control’ or abuse?

Is it best to be honest about those we are close to, or to keep our mouths zipped?

I’ve just had a discussion with my daughter, with her crying on my shoulder because I am making her do something she does not want to do – leave me for a man that abused me, and used her as a pawn (yet unknown to her) I could barely stand it, or know what to say. I want to be honest, build and gain trust. I cant stand to see her so upset. Shes not a strong willed person either, I just feel so helpless to help her

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, I’m not sure what age your daughter is but a few ladies have recommended Lundy Bancroft book, when dad hurts mum. Be honest in as child friendly a way as possible, don’t sugar coat it, don’t protect him. She knows something went on, she doesn’t want to go. Children aren’t emotionally mature(I sometimes wonder if adults are)enough when it comes to trying to explain how they feel. As adults we learn through the life we live, we learn to step back, think about something, then react, children react to how something makes them feel. Just let her know that you’ll ALWAYS be there for her to talk to, that it’s your job as her mum to protect her, to the best of your ability, but sometimes people say and do things that might stop you from doing your job,
Don’t let anyone tell you anything other than that you are a good mum, you are doing your best for your child. A child needs to feel safe,fed, warm and loved, everything else can wait. You’re doing great, believe in yourself. Kids surprise us everyday as to how wise they really are.

Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

[diymum@1]

be honest with her and mayb start by explaining what not acceptable behaviour is – it depend on how old she is but there are lots of good books on amazon about this and when dad hurts mum has a chapter on how to be honest and what to tell them theres a fine line. also the second book why does he do that the encouragement one has lots of parenting tip when dv is in the background through out. ive oreded the batterer as parent im not sur i like the title but they say knowledge is power xx

you can also show her examples from the media and storeys – even fairy tales of behaviour that she dosent have to tolerate. its also great that she can cry on your shoulder the best peice of advice ive gathered is be your childrens rock xx love diymum

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