- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by Iwantmeback.
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13th January 2019 at 8:41 pm #70629BensonParticipant
Hi Ladies, haven’t been on here for a while as trying desperately to move on with my life and regain some of my old self back. I don’t know what has happened but really struggling of late to hold it together. I don’t know whether it’s the time of year, but I am incredibly lonely still haven’t made any new friends and have no one to talk/ turn to. Recently had dealings with police with regards to safety alarm and they spoke to me like absolute dirt because I have been abused I am not a person – I did write a strong email to complain. I had to disclose a little of past history to a group my young child attends to make sure she is safe and now I get funny looks from the other adults and spoken to like I am thick! Suddenly my child has become very unsettled and coming out with things about our old house, as if she is remembering and having flashbacks – this has upset me and not sure how to deal with it.
I am feeling unsafe again and not sure why only that saw a post on social media. Life is a bit rubbish at the moment and I have had a few thoughts about ending it all – I want to feel and be normal and not be judged! I am a hardworking professional who is trying to make a new life for me and my child!
Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it out!
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13th January 2019 at 9:57 pm #70632IwantmebackParticipant
Hi Benson, I’m so glad you’ve reached back out to us. What is it with people, are they so afraid of how precarious their own relationships are they’ve to treat us like pariahs.😡 you did the right thing in complaining to the police in how you feel they treated you. It’s still very early days for you my friend, I agree about the time of year, I’m feeling lonely too, I’ve still not escaped yet.
It’s hard to know what’s the right way to allow our children to talk about how the abuse has affected them, just know that if they say they hate you, that those are just feelings, and its how the situation has made them feel, not you. Reassurances go a long way, tell each other you love each other and respect that there will be times you feel angry at what happened to both of you, and that if either of you need space from the other to respect it. Could your doctor organises a councellor for the wee one, there is children 1st in Scotland not sure of what’s available elsewhere in the country. Phone the Samaritans too if you’re feeling really low again, it’s good to have a real person to hear us sometimes, more than us just typing to each other.
Know you are doing so well and we are very proud of you in getting away from your ex. Take care mo charaid
Love and strength
IWMB 💕💕 -
13th January 2019 at 9:57 pm #70633blahblahblahParticipant
Benson,
I just wanted to reach out to you and say that you’re not alone. You’re doing your absolute best for you and your daughter, it’s everyone else’s attitudes which need to change. I’m having dealings with the police at the moment and have found them very condescending at times. However my plan from now on is to complain complain if people treat me like this even if nothing comes of it. I know the feeling you describe in regard to sharing this very personal information with clubs /school etc , It’s horrendous having to disclose everything when you’re a very private person and when you know the reaction you may get and people looking down their nose. Remember you have done nothing wrong. People from all walks of life get abused, Drs , people with money .. People should never ever look down on anyone else it says so much about them . Stay strong xx -
13th January 2019 at 9:59 pm #70634IwantmebackParticipant
PLEASE remember it’s the life you’re living, the circumstances you wish to end, not you yourself who wishes to die. When I finally realised that, it helped me deal with those utterly desolate times.
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13th January 2019 at 10:16 pm #70638BensonParticipant
Thank you for your comments, they made me cry, realising I am not on my own! Your right it is the circumstances I want to end not myself, my child would have no one. I must be thankful I am out and me and my child have a very close relationship. I have tried getting her counselling/ therapy but have been told she is too young and there are no services where I live to support her, so she has to live with it until she is old enough to get help- this in itself seems so wrong!
Your right blah blah blah, we should complain, why should we put up with being treated like dirt.
Most of all is I wish I could be normal and be able to do normal things, I really want to live my life not just watch it go past.
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13th January 2019 at 10:58 pm #70641IwantmebackParticipant
Be kind Benson to yourself, you WILL live your life, and what’s normal anyway? I don’t think there’s anything normal about life, but living it without chaos would be great. surround your child with love,safety,compassion and teach her kindly how to be in this world.
You’ve got this, it’s just so hard to see it at times. Keep posting here for that support while you’re feeling low, I remember your kind words to me when I first posted, I’d like to thank you taking the time to do so, while in the middle of your nightmare too.💞
IWMB 💕🐟 -
13th January 2019 at 10:58 pm #70642IwantmebackParticipant
No shark meant, was supposed to be my two hearts😏
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