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    • #124675
      Living Warrior
      Participant

      I am usually a very strong and determined woman, I usually have tonnes of advice for people, but today I myself, am finding that I a in need of help.

      Since my split things have been up and down as you can expect, a tug of war for control of my own life.
      I have a lot of knowledge as a survivor, things I have picked up on the way.

      my children and I have our own place, we have orders to keep up safe as things are sorted out, regarding contact.
      I am in a relationship, which I never thought would happen but we have been together for a period of time and both have children of similar ages.

      My problem is my youngest of primary school age. His behaviour has become erratic in the last 6+ months, he has never wanted to see his father, so its not because of no contact. he seems so angry all of the time. i am used to children with behaviour issues as i worked with children with special needs for many years. I am at a loss, it is like he is a spoilt brat, who tantrums when he cannot have his own way. My children have never been this way and are not spoilt, they have never asked for the latest thing or have a list a mile long for santa… they are just happy and content having what they have.
      This behaviour is out of character, I am scared of doing anything in the way of getting help and advice, because his father is using this as ammunition that i cannot care for them. i have had police and CAFCASS assess my home etc on his demands, i have never done anything to warrant this and thankfully these professionals have agreed with me, but i do feel like im under a microscope constantly. like my every move is being watched. he even accused me of neglect for taking my children to the supermarket in lockdown. ( i had no food and tried desperately at start of lock downs to get deliveries) luckily again, professionals saw that i had no other choice.
      i feel like i am going crazy.
      I am sorry for the long post, and thank anyone who reads it.
      but my anxiety is going crazy and now im scared to leave my home, in case its seen as putting children in danger like last time.

    • #124679
      Neueranfang
      Participant

      I’m sorry to hear you are struggling.It sounds pretty much like your Ex is still controlling your life.If you are scared to seek him regarding your son because of HIM and if you are scared to leave the house because of him.He is still in control even though you are not together.Have you had counselling?You need to free yourself once and for all from him.He is clearly the cause for your anxieties and your son’s unusual behaviour just adds to the stress.I know the kids are off school today but have you tried to speak to the teachers about your son’s behaviour.They might be able to help or pass you on to someone who can help without letting your Ex know.You have done what’s best for you and your children and your Ex is clearly just interested in causing you more stress and pain by trying to find a fault in your parenting skills.Don’t feel like you are being watched because you are not doing anything wrong xxxx

    • #124683
      Living Warrior
      Participant

      thank you Neueranfang,for taking the time to read and reply.
      i have spoken to school, they know the situation but have said previously that they have no issues within school so are unable to see a problem.
      i need to get a grip on my anxiety, i was on a list to seek councilling but in 2 years i havnt been moved up no matter how many times i get in touch, the covid pandemic made things even more impossible. but i am still trying.
      thank you again.

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