Struggling

[Aliendoh]

Im having an awful time of things right now, nothing compared to many here I feel sure. I am safe now. But I hate how things feel right now. I left the abusive husband, got divorced, police and solicitor did not support me as they could, he kept everything, the house, all belongings, dignity, life, played the system, making the final sum of my divorce £10k plus, just to be free and safe from him. He continued with smear campaigns etc, turning all againgst me. Using my son as a tool to hurt me, hurting him, setting him up with all kinds of lies etc againgst me. I was placed into a safe house from a refuge. His threats included he would be the end of me of if it takes his last dying breath, he has people following me, he will end me, etc. What has me really upset right now, my grown up son is visiting after being overseas long term.. Ive seen him, it was so beautuful, so special to be with him and new girlfriend. But my son is staying at the family home, the beautuful house that was ours, the one the now ex husband kept. The husband is not there, he stays at a girlfriends house. I miss my son so terribly. I feel I have no belonging, no home, that I am not home anymore. I’m missing out on so much on having time with him. The husband has the house, had everything, yet he’s not even thete. I could be there, I could be home, spending precious time with my son, and not just be a chore, a visit they have to do, before going to that home at the end of the day to finally unwind and rest, the place that is home. I escaped the house and the ex,to save my life. I did not realise the repercussions years later, just how much I would lose, throughout my life. I’m hurting so much. I’m alone. All I ever was, my whole world, my whole meaning to life, was my children. I’m really struggling. I’ve been questioning what purpose if any to my life

[Lisa]

Hello Aliendoh,

Thank you for sharing how you are feeling with us. I can understand the sense of injustice and the loss that you are feeling for your family home, I imagine it is very difficult to feel positive about the future at the moment.

Your son may associate that house as home, as I imagine he has memories there and it feels familiar to him, but it’s not only places that are home for us, it’s people too. I am sure that you and your son will be able to make new memories together in a place that is just yours, free from tension, abuse and fear.

New starts can be overwhelming, but this is a chance to make something that is all yours. I hope with time that this can become an exciting prospect for you, but I understand it’s hard to imagine at the moment.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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