Struggling

[Aliendoh]

Struggling. My mum has for the first time in her life spoke of when she left me when I was preschool age, that I chose it, she says I chose to stay with dad and that it was all on me. This attack cane out if the blue. I’ve eurjed hard to heal and understand from that little girl age when she left me. I’ve had abuse all my life. I live in a safe house to remain safe from the ex husband. I’ve rang different places trying to get emotional support or counselling, I’m told there is nothing available for months. I lived with mum as a teenager, all abuse by multiple poeole happened to me, and she dud nothing to stop any of it. Now she’s said that I didnt want to live with her as a teenager, knowing how abused I was, she was part of the abuse, and dud nothing to save or protect me from others abuse. Yet now she’s saying I chose my life, its all on me, a d I chose to not to be with her, that I didn’t want her. She’s putting it all on me. I need support, I’m unsure if anyone knows of anywhere I could try to seek support? Thank you, for any support, advice, for listening. I feel broken, what’s the point of anything in life

[Lisa]

Hello Aliendoh,

I have responded to your last post with the details for NAPAC: https://napac.org.uk/

I also wanted to suggest the Counselling Directory, where you can find professional therapists who have experience in specific fields: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Anonymous]

Ali, I really think you should break contact with your mother completely, she’s not only gaslighting, she’s blameshifting too and it’s so toxic for someone trying to heal from domestic and childhood abuse and I’m pretty sure you said she’s still in touch with your ex husband who your living in a safe house because of, maybe speak to a female doctor in the meantime, sometimes they can get you into different therapies sooner or give you something for the severe depression which it sounds like you have right now.are your support workers still involved with you? Maybe they can give you some extra advice but your mam is in denial of what happened and the part she played for choosing to ignore the abuse and neglecting and abandoning you through all of it, mine also denied her abuse when I visited her after reconnecting after a few years when someone told me she was seriously ill and only had a few months left, but again she denied everything in front of people which made me seem like a messed up liar, but the gaslighting and playing the innocent had gone on long before that day, maybe journal the facts(this can be painful) but it is a way of getting some of the pain out and making you aware that what you experienced “was” real and not an imagination which is what they try to do 🧡💛🧡

[Author]

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