Struggling.

[Tenerifeseaoth]

Hi guys,

I’m a little lost tonight. I’m really struggling with the no contact, I just want to know if he’s ok. I’m worrying about him and I can’t bat the feeling away. It’s keeping me up and is constantly on my mind.

It’s been (detail removed by Moderator) since I gave my statement and evidence to the police and I haven’t heard anything at all since. I guess because of that, I’m questioning it all…

I’m unsure of how I should feel if I’m honest.

I hope your all ok.

Xx

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Tenerifeseaoth

I don’t know how you are ‘supposed’ to feel tbh, I would suggest that how you feel is how you are supposed to feel, and its a tough place to be, left in limbo like this, not knowing whats happening.

I don’t think its unusual to be wondering how he is, if he’s ok. This is someone you had spent some of your life with, loved and thought you knew. Its only because of the awful way he’s treated you, that would never stop, that has led to this. I know its hard to see, but he should have stopped when he saw you cry, or wince, or look upset/hurt and tiptoeing around him, but he didn’t stop, and noone is going to makehim stop, maybe this will, and is the only way to end the pain in your life from his abuses.

He should have taken care of himself a long time ago and stood up to his responsibilities to treat his family with respect and love, instead of what he’s done.

I am so sorry that you are going through this, but think about you, prioritise you now, not him, you have healing and recovery to do, so take care of you in every way you can think of, so you get through this bit as best as you can. Things will look very different next year, or whenever this is over.

warmest wishes

ts

[Tenerifeseaoth]

Hi Twisted sister,

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words. They really have helped and they mean a lot.

I hope you are doing ok.

Warmest wishes right back.

xx

[tiredanddrained]

Hi Tenerifeseaoth,

I know how you feel. I’m struggling badly too. It’s been (detail removed by Moderator) also for me. I miss the good side of him so much. It’s crazy how i can love a person i know has lied about me to his family and kids to blame me for cheating etc just so he can cover up his abusive behaviour. When i don’t forgive him he gets mad n nasty. He keeps emailing me blaming me for being cruel and not loving him as ive blocked him. Begging to see me. It hurts not seeing him which makes me feel so crazy. It’s like i’m hurting myself and just existing missing him as the good times were great. It was just they other times he would go on a tirade of shouting at me and calling me names and accusing me of cheating. I never knew when it would be coming and all my neighbours would hear. I don’t miss the humiliation n not knowing when he would come in full of coccaine after 1 million promises he would never take it again. Why could he not just stop doing these things. It’s heartbreaking. I kind of feel i’m just existing with no happiness. My mind has been racing for the last (detail removed by Moderator). I feel so emotional and bot content at all. Like i can’t even concentrate on anything. It’s awful. – i hope we both feel better soon. I just wanted you to know. Your not alone struggling. I am in the same boat. Sending hugs x*x

[Tenerifeseaoth]

Hi Tiredanddrained,

Im so sorry you are feeling this way too. Its a horrible place to be and a horrible way to feel also. It’s a proper rollercoaster huh?

It’s a long process but please remember you have done the right thing. I know its hard to believe right now but as Twisted sister said above, His behaviour won’t stop and its that behaviour that has lead you to report it and be where you are.

Keep fighting, you are brave and even though it seems dark at the moment, there will be light.

sending hugs xx

[Twisted Sister]

warmest wishes to you both at this most difficult of times. You’re not alone now, keep reaching out whenever you need to. xx

[Author]

Posts