• This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by Anonymous.
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    • #140756

      My ex husband who I am now going through a divorce with has just gone back on his financial demands that I agreed to. Going for more from me. (Detail removed by  moderator). I cannot believe it. My child’s inheritance. We had been married for only a few years.

      I never cited the domestic violence. I put down things that he did that were less bad.Tried to be agreeable.

      The ptsd has been so bad from his abuse. He was cleverly psychologically and emotionally abusive and violent. Especially liked pinning me down (detail removed by moderator) my arms around my own body and holding my feet down by his. Dragging me by my arms and ankles. I am still struggling to get over it.
      He still sends me emails as this is the only avenue I have left open for practical arrangements.
      I am overwhelmed everyday and worry whether I will be able to continue to work soon.
      I changed the lock as there is no reason for him to visit, and for the first time felt safe not having to lock myself in, or hide my personal belongings when I go out.
      (Detail removed by moderator).
      I worry he will ruin me as he threatens.
      Has anyone been through this way around with finances?
      I am struggling with my thoughts and having severe panic attacks in public again.

    • #140826
      Main Moderator

      Hi Skyfall

      I just wanted to show you some support. Your ex-husband continues to be controlling and emotionally abusive, it must be exhausting for you.

      I am sorry to hear about the physical violence you have been through, it’s understandable that you are struggling with this. If you haven’t already, you could look into some counselling. Some local domestic abuse services may offer counselling, you can find their details here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

      It sounds like you may need to get some legal advice around the finances. Rights of Women offer free legal advice and also have lots of helpful information on their website; https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/

      Take care, we are all here for you.


    • #141052

      Thankyou Lisa.

      He’s making me believe I’d be better just sorting it out with him. Like adults. Cancelling/ not proceeding with the divorce that he was so furious about me applying for even though I cited minor reasons.
      He makes me doubt myself so much. He has basically said none of the violence was violence, just a hug gone wrong, a misunderstanding, that he’s apologised 100 times (he hasn’t. Just told me he has in messages). He says women who are abused don’t get angry, answer back, do this, don’t do that. I feel so disturbed by his emails that I have to keep open for now, but have blocked him on everything else.
      It’s an insidious feeling that makes me doubt myself and feel so invades in my mind, it’s so disturbing. Like I can never be free of him, that it’ll never be possible.

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