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Hello, so happy to have found this forum. Been with my partner many years, in the beginning he was kind, decent etc ( this quickly wore off) but I felt a bit sorry for him ( no family he speaks to) and very few friends. He likes life this way ( his words) and hes very ‘ I’m happy with you’ ‘ I don’t need anything else’ etc. He has always been difficult, aggressive manner, extremely short tempered, speaks to me like rubbish. Lately I’ve noticed it more as he’s had a bit of time at home. He has spent the last week telling me what to do, saying I don’t do F all ( I’d been at work) moaning that his washing wasn’t done, moaning about food I’d cooked. ( all while he’s been at home) if I say anything I’m always ‘ having a go’ he’s very shouty and swears constantly. Hes awful in the car. Rages at people swearing and being horrible. He squared up to someone the other day as they told him he couldn’t do something and he went mad, swearing, shouting. He was really mean when we were in a shop and muttered to hurry the F up to an elderly person in front of us. ( I was really upset about this) he’s like this all the time and it’s exhausting, I tell him this all the time, but I get ‘ I’m just tired’ ‘ I’m sorry’. I know in my heart he will always be like this ( there’s so much more) but I also can’t imagine life without him. And I know that sounds pathetic. Feeling a bit lost and not sure what to do.
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There’s certainly red flags here, have a read of Lundy Bancroft’s book ‘why does he do that’ you can get free pdf versions online or buy a copy. It really helped me understand that so much of what my ex did was controlling and abusive, way more than I’d realised and I experienced some of what you’ve put above x
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