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    • #133598
      Plodding
      Participant

      Hi I’m really struggling with this at the minute , it shocks me how this has Come to light for me as previously I had not seen it or realised it . Iv really been brave in sharing my feelings and how his behaviour has had impact and I’m just so shocked that he shows no compassion, only taking it as though I’m trying to hurt him in some way . That’s the last thing I want to do 😨. He has shown sympathy and empathy so I thought in the past . I don’t understand how he doesn’t seem to care . It makes me think his “I love you “ isn’t true really .
      Also anyone experience thinking partner has realised or changed ? I know it’s v unlikely and I have read why does he do that which was great but I honestly thought my husbands recent behaviour (I’d say neutral as he had stopped his diff behaviour for a while so I did think maybe he has realised . However last weekend told me that this Change was false sense of security as the negative comments and gas lighting started . Feel so disappointed that it’s like 1 step forward and two steps back

    • #133607
      Stuckinturmoil
      Participant

      I feel your pain. My husband is the same and has absolutely no empathy which is one of the reasons I am leaving him.
      I have a solicitors appointment very soon which he knows about. He will not discuss anything and doesn’t seem to care. Not interested if I stay or go.
      I wish he would say he is sorry things have come to this or anything but he is emotionally dead. I recently discovered the ‘neglectful narci55ist’ video on YouTube.

    • #133611
      Secretlife
      Participant

      I have spent years trying to explain to my husband how his behaviour is affecting me and our relationship. It all been a waste of time, he doesn’t listen to a word I’ve said. He has never given me any emotional support when I most need it and I now realise he is emotionally dead. Recently I’ve reached the point where I can’t go on like this and we have discussed divorce. He shows no emotion, takes no responsibility for how things have become and simply tells me that I need to see a solicitor and start proceedings. He then continues daily life as if nothing has been said!! I’ve given up trying to understand him and instead think about how he is affecting my health and my need to leave him. I’ve been with him for many years now and I know he will never change. These men don’t deserve us. Xx

      • #133618
        Stuckinturmoil
        Participant

        Secret life. I could have written your reply myself. It’s exactly the same for me. Even when our child was in hospital I had to sleep there for a few nights. When he would visit it was like we were already divorced. I would expect a normal husband to greet me with a hug and ask how our night had gone. Our child was in terrible pain so the nights were obviously going to be tough. But nothing. He would show emotion to our child though and stroke the child’s head.
        When an extremely close relative died the funeral was on the last day of a holiday he had gone on with a friend he didn’t even offer to get an earlier flight home to support me in the funeral.

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