23rd April 2021 at 7:34 pm #125145HappyskiesParticipant
I’m so grateful to have this forum. It’s so helpful.
I’m feeling quite stuck. It’s a long time since I’ve been in a situation and I’ve managed to get life back into some sort of usual shape, with a lot of help, forgiveness and understanding from those around me. but I still feel quite stuck and some days are better than others.
Today is one of those more difficult days. Something came up in work recently around this topic and i think I ended up sharing my experience – although i can’t be sure as i can’t trust my memory. I’m quite embarrassed to think I’ve brought this up at my new job.
I’m also feeling like people must think I’ve really over embellished things,or like maybe they think I’m thinking it’s a worse thing than it is.
I’m also struggling with loneliness. Really wanting to move on and connect with others and also feeling like i don’t know how – i really struggle to keep a conversation going these days from anxiety and judging myself.
My partner booked us tickets to see a chance ncert in a few months time with his friends. Initially i was looking forward to it, but I’ve now told him to sell my ticket to one of his friends because Im imagining it going wrong. Everything from me getting overwhelmed, too drunk, having a panic attack or behaving in too drunk a way, being inappropriate to his friends, to seeing the previous perp there and not knowing how to handle the situation.
He’s obviously upset and was looking forward to it. I’m just so tired of being like this. I keep my life so small because I’m so scared something will happen and I’ll make a fool of myself in public and not recover. It’s not just affecting me because my partner has to put up with it and be supportive all the time, instead of just having a “normal” relationship and lifestyle where I’m not scared of people and can go out without second guessing everything.
Any advice would be really welcome.
Thanks in advance.
23rd April 2021 at 11:27 pm #125155TrackerParticipant
Hi happy skies,
I too told people at work, well a little anyway and as much as I wanted to talk finally and it felt good I also find people don’t really want to listen to me and they didn’t understand. I’m not going to bother anymore. It’s all you can talk to us but you get the impression they don’t wanna hear it when you do.
Best thing is to talk on here like you have done to like minded people who understand better.
As for your anxiety I can’t help too much as I have pretty low confidence myself at times but look you have come out the otherwise now and have a new partner you are very strong and can do this xx
24th April 2021 at 7:01 am #125157LivinginhopeParticipant
Hello Happy Skies
It looks like you are doing really well with your recovery and I think it’s probably the case for most of us in a similar situation that there are periods when we feel hopeless or stuck as you say. Have you talked to a therapist? They might be able to help you work on your confidence more generally and help you get through difficult situations so that you come out feeling stronger from them however they turn out. I have found reading things helps me, have you read any self help books? There is lots based on compassionate self approaches or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ACT? Russ Harris is very readable. Wishing you all the best.
24th April 2021 at 9:48 pm #125199HappyskiesParticipant
Thank you so much ladies. That’s really so helpful to read through your messages. I’ll definitely take a look at your suggestions, and it really does make such a big difference to come and dis this stuff with you in this forum.
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