This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  iliketea 14 hours, 21 minutes ago.

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  • #103816
     iliketea 
    Participant

    Hi, I keep on reading on here that women are being told by their solicitors not to go for an Occupation Order because the abuse is not physical and so it is rarely granted. Is this true? Is there anyone here who’s partner (not married) was not physically violent and where it was *only* emotional, psychological abuse? And who has young children and applied for one where the court had to look at the effect on the children as being paramount? And as their main carer you are then given the Occupation Order to stay in the home for a certain amount of time?

    Often referred to as the balance of harm test, sets out the court’s duty to balance the harm caused to the applicant, the respondent and any relevant children, if the order was or wasn’t made.
    In accordance with Section 33(7), the court must make an order if:
    “…It appears to the court that the applicant or any relevant child is likely to suffer significant harm attributable to conduct of the respondent if an order…is not made’.

    Be really interested to hear. I was about to apply for one and my solicitor seems sure it will be considered seriously. I have (detail removed by moderator) worth of daily evidence, as well as (detail removed by moderator) of red flags.

    Don’t want to pull the pin in lockdown and for it to be unsuccessful and then have to flee with no job and no money because we can’t carry on living under the same roof when it all comes out into the open…

     

  • #104888
     Rubymurray 
    Participant

    Just read and also put these questions to a professional. Will come back to you with reply x

  • #105030
     AngryBird 
    Participant

    I have been successful but in a different UK country where the law is different. I’d get in touch with a specialist law organisation eg rights of women for advice https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/. Any abuse should allow the partner to be excluded from the home. I was afraid I would not get my court order so i gathered as much evidence as possible. Made recordings of his abusive behaviour, saw my GP and womens aid to report what was happening and the impact on me, kept copies of text messages etc, told a trusted friend as abuse happened. I was able to show a pattern of abuse backed up with letters from GP and WA. Don’t give up. Just get prepared.

  • #105292
     Hellohellohello111 
    Participant

    I have applied for an occupation order recently and hopefully the hearing will be (detail removed by moderator). My solicitor is confident that I will get the order for emotional abuse but we also have evidence of high alcohol use as he is currently doi g Pethtrsting for care proceedings

     

  • #105302
     TheHopeThatKillsYou 
    Participant

    Hi,

    My partner’s ex-wife was successful in this area (wish I had known about all of the problems prior to the situation I find myself in with him now but that’s another story!).

    She left with their children without him suspecting. Not being in the correct headspace and in the safety of a new, albeit not long-term, home, she didn’t immediately apply for an occupation order however, when it became clear after a very long period of time that her ex (now my partner) was not going to budge from their family home she did. His excuses for not leaving were ridiculous and selfish and in no way put the kids as the priority and, guess what, she won. He had/has a severe alcohol-use problem too. Much like yourself, he was never physically violent and it was emotional/psychological. She had plenty of evidence, like yourself.

    Go for it, you’re so brave. Best of luck x

    • #105337
       iliketea 
      Participant

      SO sorry to hear you’re in it too, what are these men like, so he’s a repeat offender? Hope you’re ok and can escape soon too. Thank you, that’s interesting information. Mine has none of those outward obvious issues like drink or drugs, I’m worried he’ll just trick everyone, he’s very clever. Most of the women I have told, except one, have been totally shocked and don’t seem to believe me, weird though, the men I’ve told have, don’t get that. The women have stopped contact with me mostly, always have excuses, never check in, easy to do in lockdown, I do all the leg work, the men check in weekly mostly. Don’t get that either.
      Thanks for replying. I don’t feel brave anymore. Hope has faded. Just a bit depressed with it all now. So many women here, so many similar stories. Think Im back in the shock and disbelief phase. Coronavirus isn’t helping with all the uncertainty either.
      xx

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