Support services

[Butterfly-A]

Hi all,

I’ve recently disclosed what is happening in my relationship to a colleague at work, she’s very keen for me to contact a DA service. But honestly I am a bit worried about doing this and how ‘real’ it makes the situation.

Can anyone give me a bit of light into how support services have helped you?

I just feel like I’m at a place where I kind of know what is happening to me but I’m not ready to take the next step as much as I want to.

[minimeerkat]

its normal for you to be feeling this way. but it might help if you see yourself as the one in control here
could you perhaps see contacting your local da service as ‘phoning a friend who has experienced everything you have so they completely understand’. the service will just listen to you if thats all you want right now – they will go at a pace you feel comfortable with. they appreciate any fear, vulnerabilty & confusion
you will be ok
if you contact them please know there will absolutely no expectations whatsoever x

[Butterfly-A]

this is a really nice way of putting it, thank you!
I think I’ll give it a try tomorrow.

[Secret6]

They only seem to “help” if you are immediate danger or homeless. I’m finding general advice, help to cope or prepare to leave is pretty hard to find.
There are lovely, kind people around if you just want somebody to hear you though.

[Anonymous]

The fact that your on this forum asking the same question so many of us have asked, really shows your strength and also your awareness of what is happening to you. For decades I normalised my relationship, forgive him and put the blame on myself but I can’t recover like I used to in my younger years.
My own very recent experience with my local DA service has been so ,so helpful.
They haven’t judged me for staying in this relationship, the are not pushy about me leaving this relationship , they are really informative, kind and supportive. I was referred to them by the police as being high risk so I guess they may have fast tracked me into the system ?. However the sooner you contact them hopefully the sooner they can help you?
This forum has been a massive help too. It has clarified that my relationship is abusive, is not safe, not healthy , not reasonable and not my fault. Recognising that can be overwhelming and painful at times if I’m being honest but I am hoping that it’s a step closer to leaving and living a safer happier life.
Keep posting and take care x

[Lisa]

Hi Butterfly-A,

Thank you for sharing with us. I hope the replies you have received so far have been helpful for considering contacting support services. Reaching out for support and talking about abuse can feel very overwhelming so it is important you make contact with support services when you feel ready and at your own pace. It is ok to not feel ready just yet and to know the support is there for when you do feel ready. As already said by others, the support services won’t pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do and will understand how daunting it can be to reach out.

Keep posting when you are able to, we are here for you.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[StrongLife]

They take the pressure off of finances, counselling, access to grants, safety plans and generally someone to ring should there be issues.

I found counsellor and social worker particularly helpful

May have access to group counselling in real life.

These all take the pressure off.

[Author]

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