Takes so much time to feel better.

[Numbnumb]

I am resigning myself to the fact there’s nothing i can do. If I ever heal it will be time(and the comfort of this forum) that is the healer. Im so fortunate in so many ways,why can’t I count my blessings. but every morning i awake from less than ample sleep feeling so low,so lost ,wondering why I was treated with such hatred? all the horrible scenes playing out in my head. Kissing him??? It’s been months since he is gone after decades together (with a few gaps due to his affairs) . Yesterday I finally rang my doctors,a lot of ladies on here advise talking to GP,I end up self referring for a talking therapy on their advice.I didn’t need to call them and tell all my business to find that out , I know I can self refer.maybe they will offer CBT , train me to shift my sad thoughts for more positive ones.sorry for moaning on. Not a helpful post but just hoping to feel a bit better getting my thoughts out.

[KIP.]

There’s plenty you can do as and when you feel up to it. And you’ve already been proactive. Yes time and zero contact are top of my list but sharing on here. Trauma therapy. Gaining knowledge. Reading books. Healing from hidden abuse is a good one. Mindfulness, being kind to yourself, not blaming yourself. Keeping a gratitude diary. Eventually holding him accountable and reporting him to the police to protect others if you want to. I know how you feel just now but you won’t always feel this way. This too shall pass x

[Numbnumb]

Thankyou I know you are so right. I have read healing from hidden abuse on audio but I think I need a replay. I have practised a tiny amount of mindfulness when I would be under verbal attacks from him I would try to calmly count 7 breaths in and 10 out, it really did help me to zone out of the situation so I will research more about mindfulness. I will answer the phone when NHS call about talking therepy. Thankyou some one else telling me how I can do more for myself sinks in more than me trying to tell myself. I feel better than I did earlier.

[KIP.]

👍

[Same-again]

Hi, decades of abuse….?! So many horrible scenes to process (or re-run atm) for you.

Be kind to yourself and remember his hate is just that. I sometimes think of the power play visually, it seems to help.

I see me and I have a warm glow, a light which emanates from me/my soul. That light isn’t as bright as it was but it’s still there. Then I see him, he is surrounded by a dark insidious mist and the dark mist is enveloping him, choking him. He looks on at my light and even though it is diminished he see’s that it will always be there and he cannot steal it or extinguish it.

My light and yours will endure and shine brighter as we journey along this path.

Their darkness also endures. Sometimes I wish he would put his cloak back on to shield me from that darkness. The cloak though is tatty and worn, I’m amazed I didn’t see it before.

They can’t escape their darkness but we can, we have. 🙂

[KIP.]

I like that visualisation. I often think of a toxic smell. Eventually that smell may linger but we don’t smell it the way we used to. It isn’t as toxic to us as time goes on. Eventually we don’t even notice it x

[Numbnumb]

What an amazing visualisation! It’s funny though I believe others see him as the one in the partnership with the light. The fun, funny, life and souls one of our partnership, but yes that’s why they duck the light out of us.

[Author]

Posts