Technology, phones, the internet

[Pears2021]

There’s been clear abuse e.g. violence.
(I’m currently on my laptop as he does not have access to it. And I’m using an email address he knows nothing about.)
But there are some things he does that I don’t think I’ve got my head around. He has always checked my phone a lot. He likes to do it when I’m asleep or I’ve left the room. I have nothing to hide, but it puts me on edge, thinking what will he find to kick off about now. He went through my phone and (detail removed by moderator) and called them, threatening them. He also knows their addresses, because he has followed me there, without me realising. I no longer bother with my friends, partly because it is too much bother I’ll get from him, partly to protect them from more threats. So there’s isolation. I also used to rely more on wifi and have my data turned off. So when leaving my home to go to the shop, not realising my data wasn’t on, he’d know I’d left the house because his messages weren’t being received (the double tick on what’s app for example). I’ve often thought he might have a tracker on my phone or has cloned my phone or sim card. Recently I saw that someone had been accessing my Facebook, and it was coming up with the same phone that he has. I took screenshots of the IP address. I suspected this ages ago too. I recently deleted 2 messages on Facebook from (detail removed by moderator). I had not been near him for him to look at my phone, but he somehow knew I’d deleted messages and was going mad about it.
He has been through my main email that has years and years worth of info in it. I had emails from previous partners and he’s basically been through my entire emails with them. So he knows a lot of info that I didn’t tell him. I don’t think it’s his right to know info, unless I’ve told him myself.
I deleted all my pictures of myself on Facebook because I was sick of him going through pics of ages ago and asking who is that that’s ‘liked’ your pic, how do you know them, etc.
He joins Facebook groups that he thinks/knows I’m a member of and searches for posts I’ve made. This includes personal problems, relationship/friend things, and even an abuse group- I had posted about him stalking me (detail removed by moderator). He is still joining these groups.
I’ve had enough!

[Pears2021]

He also knew recently that I’d taken pictures of my injuries and was emailing them to myself. He has also deleted, and forced me to deleted, pictures of my injuries.

[gettingtired]

Hey Pears2021, from what I understand reading both your posts it sounds like you’ve left him now?
It’s not right or acceptable at all for him to be reading through your personal emails, facebook messages, texts. He sounds very controlling and it’s wrong that you feel you can’t see your friends anymore in case he kicks off and threatens them. Have any of your friends ever reported this behaviour to the police?
I’ve felt the same regarding seeing my friends. My partner doesn’t say tell me I can’t and usually he doesn’t really contact me when I’m with them but there have been times before where he’s tried to get hold of me then started getting angry if I don’t reply or answer the phone. This then makes me feel very anxious and not feel that I can enjoy the time with them. Or I’ll leave the room or something to answer the phone to him in case he’s annoyed with me or in a mood and then it becomes awkward if they overhear our conversation. So I end up putting off seeing them altogether for fear of what might happen. All in all it’s a bad situation and not healthy at all.
Have you contacted your local women’s aid? I’d definitely recommend doing that as it sounds like you’re needing support too with issues you’re having at home with family. I kind of know what it’s like to feel like you’re being treated like a child by your parents. Mine, especially my Dad treat me a bit like that. I don’t feel like it helps with self confidence.
Anyway, I hope you’re doing ok xx

[gettingtired]

I forgot to say, your partner made you delete the photos of your injuries because he’s knows it’s wrong and he doesn’t want to be found out. It’s abuse.
I’m annoyed with myself as I had old photos of past bruises partner has left but I got a new phone and lost them then deleted the last few a while back before I know it was abuse that was going on. I thought it was just better to delete them rather than mull over past arguments but now I know how wrong it was of him to do that to me in the first place xx

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