Teenage daughter

[Abusesurvivor]

Help please..

Back in (detail removed by Moderator) he abused my daughter. Since he has been gaslighting her now he saying he’s not bringing her back after the bank holiday. She needs to be in school on (detail removed by Moderator). He’s twisting everything blaming my partner who got to his wits end with her staying up late so he’s making it sound like its his fault. He’s saying she wants to live there he’s gaslighting her and manipulating her.

Help please I want my daughter back she hasn’t been  the same person since he started abusing her.

Anonymous.

[Better-days]

Hi abuse survivor I hope that u are ok. What is happening to u right now is my worst fear and the reason I have not left this herrendous relationship. I don’t know what age your daughter is but is she young enough you could call the police. . He’s lost control of you and now your poor daughter is getting it. It’s so upsetting I can’t get my head around why they would do this. I hope you’re ok and your daughter is back with u soon. Sending big hugs xxxx

[Marmalade]

Hi Abuse survivor,

Firstly do you have an order setting out that your daughter lives with you? Or do you have a contact arrangement in writing that says when she needs to be returned to you? If you do, you can potentially enforce that  through the court by getting an order that he has to return her and preventing him taking her again except for agreed/ordered contact. Even if there is no current order or written agreement if you can show the court that her home is with you and she usually lives with you most of the time then you can apply for an order for her return. Try to get some legal advice tomorrow if he has not returned her. You need to speak to a solicitor who does family law, some will offer the first 30 minutes free of charge. You can also try ringing Rights Of Women family law helpline for some free advice. They are excellent but the phone lines are only open at limited times and it can be difficult to get through but worth persevering. Also you can contact your local DA service and ask if they can recommend anyone who can provide legal assistance.

There are a few issues though. A lot depends on how old your daughter is. If she is older her views will be taken into account. If she, for example, is a teenager and says she wants to live at her father’s, it could be much more difficult to get her home than with a young child. Also I see that you are saying he abuses her. I’m not sure if you mean he influences her or more than that. Equally it looks like he might be making counter allegations against your partner? If there are safeguarding allegations on either side then this may affect matters. Please seek legal advice and explain all the circumstances if she is not returned as planned.

Good luck

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