- This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Hi guys, its been a very long time but I feel like im hitting that point where I am trying to get out.
I want to do it quickly and quietly with little fuss, I dont want anyone getting into trouble and I want to keep it all as amicable as possible.
I have a plan. I have put a claim in for universal credit as I am currently of work sick on SSP and I have put a housing application in with LA.
My question is, I didnt put emotional/mental abuse on form. I dont really want too… What happens, will he get into trouble, will they call me in? I guess without listing that I stand no chance of being housed and therefor wont get out but I really want to try to keep things civil… Is is confidential or will they get people involved?
Thank you in advance x
-
Hi Justfedup,
I think your best bet is to ring them anonymously, explain what you’ve just written to us and ask them.
I’m guessing the form was online, in which case it falls under the Genersl Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) which means that they can only share the information by prior agreement. If you haven’t consented to them sharing the info with your partner, then they can’t share it.
However, people can be very clumsy when dealing with these things e.g sending a letter to your home address which your partner might open and read. If it was me, I’d definitely ring them, explain about the domestic abuse and ask them to take that into consideration and also advise them of the dangers if your partner discovers you’ve applied.
Also, just another quick note, if you are currently too ill to work you could try claiming Personal Independence Payments. You can do this online.
-
Thank you. This is one of reasons I have stuck around so long. I dont want sny fuss and I dont want to cause any problems and I actually feel so bad telling someone. I have never told anyone other than in the past on here. For some reason I feel so protective over him and my family and situation.
Im really trying for minimal disruption. My son is crippled with anxiety and barely attending school and I also suffer with anxiety. I dont want to go to refuge and cause even more upset I just want to bid on a home and move and continue life with some normality. I know its probably too much to ask after 12 years of walking on egg shells but an easy life seems so good right now! X
I had a look into pip, I dont know if its just me not being confident but I dont feel like I would get it and I really dont have sny fight left in me at the moment, I am feeling pretty flat and rock bottom. X
-
Hi there
Just wanted to let you know I feel very much the same. My youngest child is so anxious and unhappy and not attended high school (just joined y(removed by moderator)) for (removed by moderator) weeks so school are threatening fines now.
It’s so so hard, I have had early help involved as my (removed by moderator) boys also struggled with attendance last year (touch wood seem ok so far) so school know that we’ve all been dealing with.
It is such a difficult thing to talk about but the more you can reach out the less crazy you feel. I’ve known things are not ok for almost 4 years, it’s a process, a long hard process.
I’ll say what everyone else says here , if you are ok your boy will be too. It’s easy to say it and not to make you feel guilty just that they need us for their emotional regulation so we have to put ourselves first.
Take care and keep posting xx
-
-
-
Aww this sounds so much like my situation! Its such a fight atm getting help and support for the little one with schooling and mental health input! I just think everything has gone on too long and nothing is changing, we need to get out into our own little safe place and start again its just so difficult to do! X
I dont even know how I get through day to day at the moment. I sit down after tea and wonder how I did it!!
I rang the LA but to get me in contact with the homeless team who I would have to speak to I have to give all of my information and background and thats just to the guy on switchboard for whole council! Just feel like they could be more discreet than that! X
-
Hi Justfedup,
Making a safety plan to leave the relationship is such a big positive step forward, so it’s important you are able to feel supported by services that can make it possible.
Getting in touch with your local domestic abuse service would be ideal at this stage as they are a confidential service and will go over all these concerns you understandably have. They should be able to help put your case forward to housing and communicate with them. They can press them to make you priority need due to the abuse. If the council are not helpful, they can challenge this on your behalf. You may also ask them to go over the option of going into a refuge, which is a safe house for women and children fleeing domestic abuse.
You could contact Shelter line to discuss your housing rights. Shelter line offer free and confidential housing information, support and legal advice on all housing and homelessness issues. They have a live chat service, and an emergency helpline available on 0808 800 44 44 (8am-8pm weekdays, 9am-5pm weekends)
Also, Turn2Us help people access the money available to them – through welfare benefits, grants and other help based on your particular needs and circumstances. They operate a confidential helpline and, on their website, have an income-related benefits checker, enabling you to check that you are receiving all the welfare benefits you are entitled to. The website includes a grants search containing the details of hundreds of grant-giving charities that may be able to provide financial support, information and resources on a broad range of money matters to help you manage your finances.
I hope this is useful to you. Do keep posting to let us know how you get on.
All the best,
Lisa
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
