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I’ve been reading/thinking/ruminating about our issues ie THEM really.
Been wondering about what the way forward might be. What might help US – victims/survivors. Domestic abuse is present in society and appears to be on the increase. Generally as well as Covid exasperated.
It seems to me that there may be things that would help. I’m not an IT specialist but I wonder if an app could be developed to help combat/gain evidence/clarity of mind.
I called the police at least 10 times but wouldn’t give a statement and I wonder if at that initial contact the police might be better to persuade the victim to start recording EVERTHING on audio or maybe even more?!
It almost always comes down to one word against another and I wonder if efforts/resources might be better spent in ultimately making them accountable? It seems clear to me (know – haha) that they DON’T change. So in terms of tackling/making progress to fight this awful, life crushing behaviour is to shine a light upon it and try to make sure there are sanctions for this behaviour.
The statistics for prosecution and subsequent conviction are heart-breaking. Enough to make you think ‘why bother’. I think there are two main (many others) barriers to these statistics. Often it’s your word against theirs (hence my idea about an app-that maybe records and automatically changes to written dialogue-so you/they-police can see the patterns?!). The other factor is society’s lack of understanding (I think people DON’T want to see someone is that manipulative/evil-can’t same say I blame em).
I wonder if when these cases go to trial if there’s an expert witness who can explain what’s happening/the patterns to a lay person? If you’ve not experienced it I think it’s very hard for people to see it -and there’s often a tendency to victim blame. That’s generally I think.
The ‘why did she stay’ brigade. That ones a more complex issue and I think often a lot of women have experienced stuff that they don’t want to label and so it’s easier to do the ‘they’re a victim’ I’m not kinda thing. Hence why sexual assault is so under reported. I think we’d rather not label it as such and forget about it, move on.
I mean given the stats who can blame us/women for taking this view.
Anyway – I’m probably talking rubbish. I’m thinking out loud but I’d love your thoughts.
SA x
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Hi Same-again
I haven’t used it myself but Onrecord is an evidence gathering app created by legal and medical professionals generating charts displaying records of threats, controlling behaviour, communication, contact arrangements and of course time & dates to help prepare your case.
Have a look at below website for more info about the app. It isn’t free though, only the first five records as trial period but it can give you an idea how to create your own filing system.
Evidence is everything in court so document, record all abusive behaviour is a good way to start for survivors.
There is another app, a recording one with transcription option, i have to search for it first. -
Recording apps for iPhones
• Voice Record Pro. Lots of editing, trimming and even transcription options. You can save it or send it straight away per email or SMS.
• Voice Recorder and Audio Editor. Same features as above app with additional option to record a phone call, but only with Premium.Recording apps for Android;
• Audio Evolution Mobile Studio
• BandLab
• Easy Voice Recorder -
The terrible question Why did she stay is soul crushing. But based on ignorance not ill intend. The question should be why did he hit her (verbally, physically) or why did he invalidate her every need? Abusing her through neglect, demeaning her.
The light should be shone on his wrong abusive behaviour not on her reaction to it or inaction. Asking her would be assuming she holds the power in the relationship. When he holds it all.
When the power imbalance is understood, people, courts? might start asking better questions and hold abusers accountable in a more consistent manner. -
A major issue is that the majority of cases are turned down by the CPS. This has got worse recently as they are seriously underfunded. They will only proceed with a case if there is sufficient evidence to provide a realistic prospect of conviction, and that prosecuting is in the public interest. I don’t know exactly what is meant by ‘in the public interest’.
If the CPS refuses permission to charge there’s the option of bringing a private prosecution. A quick internet search showed no win, no fee solicitors dealing with cases of domestic abuse. So, it’s about financial compensation. The process still sounds complex and there are no guarantees.
You need very strong evidence for both public and private prosecutions. And this is always going to be a problem. A woman ‘who stays’ doesn’t necessarily recognise that she’s being abused so won’t be thinking about evidence and prosecutions. And what constitutes evidence anyway? What if there are no bruises or police visits?
Legislation has made good headway in defining coercive control but is there much point if cases fail to get to court? Maybe we should look at redefining evidence in these prosecutions. For example, a psychological assessment to show the victim’s state of mind would be powerful. Particularly as a victim will find it difficult to articulate her experiences.
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