This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Lisa 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #70337
     Sci-figirl 
    Participant

    I was lay in bed this morning and the realisation comes to me that him calling me names every time we argued was not okay!! I know it’s crazy, but it’s the first time I’ve recognised this with any clarity. So strange. My entire view of him and our relationship is changing. I mean, completely changing! There’s no romance to it any more. I don’t feel any guilt for the things he does or has done. I feel no responsibility for anything. I can’t quite believe I ever did! Such is the power he had over me. I honestly feel like I was completely brainwashed….like my mind has not been mine for a long while. I’ve had some bad days. I have been so gut wrenchingly upset by what he’s done. But I feel so different from the last time we broke up. The yearning is easing. And every time I miss him, I ask myself what it is I actually miss? I didn’t know him. Is there even a him? Who knows. I’m just so glad that I’m finally seeing things clearly. Accepting the truth. What is real. What his actions say and not his words. I knew who he was last time, but I still couldn’t see. I’m glad he did what he did that day. It was awful. But I saw him for a second and it gave me chance to get here. It is better. So much better. Maybe I’m having a good day…maybe I’ll feel terrible for the next two, but today is good….and that’s one more day than I had when I was with him. Despicable people!!! 😡

  • #70430
     Lisa 
    Main Moderator

    Hi Sci-figirl

    Sounds really positive that now you have the time and space to reflect on the relationship you are starting to see things clearly and think and feel differently. All these good days are big steps and even if you have bad days you are still stepping in the right direction.

    Take care and keep posting

    Lisa

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