The Freedom Programme, your bill of rights…..

[Healthyarchive]

I started the Freedom Programme yesterday, we were given a copy of the bill of human rights. One was you have the right to be angry & protest if you are treated unfairly or abusivly. When i was with my ex I were not permitted to show any negative emotion which related to him or something he had done. If I had shown anger or disapproval he would have given me the silent treatment for two weeks then I would have to beg, plead & say sorry.

[Nova]

Hi
I’m new on this forum…& I can totally identify with what your saying.The warnings to me from him, glaring sulking not speaking stomping around heavily deep sighs, ignoring & excluding me, until I would give in & just want everything to be ‘OK’ in other words…his way, the ONLY way, All my interests, he hi jacked, cooking,had to have the kitchen to himself, the radio station had to be his, he made a huge deal if I wanted to watch any programme or listen to anyone other than his choice..
..I’m in the ‘did all this really happen’ stage..though I knew from the start (detail removed by Moderator) ago he had major issues…he pretty much dumped himself on me with the sob story of a lifetime…
It’s like everyone’s individual story, it’s difficult to describe every single put down, confrontation, anxious moment, it’s what I call a drip drip drip effect…little & often then huge big crazy outbursts…& promises which never materialise, empty & painful.
I’m only at the beginning of my recovery it’s been particularly hellish the last (detail removed by Moderator) since my Mum died, my rock, he’s just been in his element…using my emotional vulnerability to keep control. Be use of him…I’ve lost dear friends & work, I’ve become anxious & lost my self confidence had loads of health problems.

I’ll pause there as I’ve so much to say so much to share, I’m piecing my past together bit by bit, it’s going to be a tough journey for me…thank G for forums like this ladies!

[Serenity]

I am glad you have started this programme, HA.

I loved mine. I might do another: a few women do a couple!

I love those Bill of Rights. I have shared them here a few times.

I wasn’t allowed to express any upset either, and was looked down on for having different views to him. Before he left, he warned me- gave me an ultimatum: to keep silent. To adore him and let him get away with what he wanted.

I have realised that I had put up with mistreatment myself, but I couldn’t bear him treating the kids in the same way. So I couldn’t just stand by and be silent. Psychopaths tend to rule their wives and children with an iron rod, but to me my life wouldn’t have been worth living if I
Had let him treat the kids as he did. So he walked out in protest- no doubt having found a woman taken in by his rubbish.

I think it’s horrendous now abusers negate your feelings and try to shut you up. I never insulted or swore at him: I just tried to reason with him. You can’t reason with an abuser.

[Author]

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