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    • #119999

      Hopefully my life will change soon so here is what makes me happy looking forward

      A bed..omg I miss a bed
      My children
      Having money
      Learning things

      No rules
      No atmosphere
      No bruises
      No argument’s
      No I’m sorry not sorry
      No mind games

      I cannot wait!!!

      I know it will be tough to start with. When days are bad I think of the happiness that awaits

    • #120002

      Keep focused and stay strong. You can have all those things. How sad it is to be terrorised in our own homes, where we should feel safe. How sad the little pleasures or just the general feeling of contentment is taken.
      I love having my own bed. No more sleeping in sofas. Coffee in bed. Naps when I please. Pottering in the garden. Finding creativity. Reading a book in peace. No more ranting texts disturbing me at work. No more dreading going home. No more being called names.
      I used to get little pangs of excitement planning my escape knowing what awaited me no matter how hard it was going to be to take that leap of faith ❤️

      • #120011

        Yeah I kept thinking of the simple things. I’m not person who likes alot of things. Just peace and quiet good my head is so noisy from all the years of drama

      • #120017

        I found once i left that I can’t bear the TV on too loud, even at level 7 it feels unbearably noisy. I sit most days in utter silence and it’s bliss.

      • #120021

        Omg. Knows what I can’t have a TV on at all. I haven’t watched a tv in months. I’m so glad you said that. I stay upstairs on the floor as I can’t go on the bed from the horrors. I sleep on floor and I’m on floor in daytime too. TV zaps my brain. My life has been a circus for so long I crave peace and quiet but at the same time when I have peace and quiet the noise in my head gets loud. Can’t seem to get balance. The noise in my head counselor says it’s trauma and ptsd.

      • #120067

        I hear you about not watching TV, I watch about 5 hours a week if I’m lucky. Could quite easily do away with it, it’s become an ornament. I was doing okay with the radio but too many upsetting songs would come on. When I was in refuge I slept a lot on the floor too, the noise from the main road was too much, flat was double glazed but think frames hadn’t been sealed when fitted. It was like sleeping with the window open.
        I’m trying to work through ways to deal with the noise in my head, was seeing a councillor but that’s stopped due to covid.i thought I would be okay dealing with it myself but I’m not. It will get better, it’s already better by not living with him anymore.
        Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

      • #120076

        It’s so nice to know I’m not alone although I wish we all didn’t have these things. I just stay in my own quiet space and I do the adult colouring in books. My councellor told me to do that. It helps

    • #120005

      Such a good idea to have these things written down. There are tough bits but soooo much good stuff to embrace and help you over the bumps. I’m excited for you. xx

      • #120012

        Thank you. You were one of the first people to reply to my first post. You prob won’t remember but I do. Thank you for all your advice and just being kind to me. Everyone here is kind and I’m truly grateful for it

    • #120040

      I love your post sharing the benefits of leaving Truetomyself. It was really inspiring. Here’s what I’m looking forward to when I leave:
      No constant put downs
      No more sarcastic comments about my parenting
      No more trying to avoid someone in my own home
      No more not wanting to go home
      No more counting the days until he’s back at work
      Being able to do self care without being told I should do something around the house
      Being able to exercise without complaint
      Not having to constantly clear up after somebody who thinks I do nothing
      Not being ordered around
      Not having my boundaries constantly violated
      No more wondering when I’ll manage to leave
      Being able to work undisturbed
      Being able to really enjoy time with the kids


      • #120042

        You’ll have all that and more. It’s amazing how much comes back when we are free ❤️

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