18th January 2021 at 9:27 pm #119999
Hopefully my life will change soon so here is what makes me happy looking forward
A bed..omg I miss a bed
No I’m sorry not sorry
No mind games
I cannot wait!!!
I know it will be tough to start with. When days are bad I think of the happiness that awaits
18th January 2021 at 9:37 pm #120002HettyParticipant
Keep focused and stay strong. You can have all those things. How sad it is to be terrorised in our own homes, where we should feel safe. How sad the little pleasures or just the general feeling of contentment is taken.
I love having my own bed. No more sleeping in sofas. Coffee in bed. Naps when I please. Pottering in the garden. Finding creativity. Reading a book in peace. No more ranting texts disturbing me at work. No more dreading going home. No more being called names.
I used to get little pangs of excitement planning my escape knowing what awaited me no matter how hard it was going to be to take that leap of faith ❤️
18th January 2021 at 10:02 pm #120011
Yeah I kept thinking of the simple things. I’m not person who likes alot of things. Just peace and quiet good my head is so noisy from all the years of drama
19th January 2021 at 1:26 am #120017IwantmebackParticipant
I found once i left that I can’t bear the TV on too loud, even at level 7 it feels unbearably noisy. I sit most days in utter silence and it’s bliss.
19th January 2021 at 4:22 am #120021
Omg. Knows what I can’t have a TV on at all. I haven’t watched a tv in months. I’m so glad you said that. I stay upstairs on the floor as I can’t go on the bed from the horrors. I sleep on floor and I’m on floor in daytime too. TV zaps my brain. My life has been a circus for so long I crave peace and quiet but at the same time when I have peace and quiet the noise in my head gets loud. Can’t seem to get balance. The noise in my head counselor says it’s trauma and ptsd.
20th January 2021 at 5:12 am #120067IwantmebackParticipant
I hear you about not watching TV, I watch about 5 hours a week if I’m lucky. Could quite easily do away with it, it’s become an ornament. I was doing okay with the radio but too many upsetting songs would come on. When I was in refuge I slept a lot on the floor too, the noise from the main road was too much, flat was double glazed but think frames hadn’t been sealed when fitted. It was like sleeping with the window open.
I’m trying to work through ways to deal with the noise in my head, was seeing a councillor but that’s stopped due to covid.i thought I would be okay dealing with it myself but I’m not. It will get better, it’s already better by not living with him anymore.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞
20th January 2021 at 7:09 am #120076
It’s so nice to know I’m not alone although I wish we all didn’t have these things. I just stay in my own quiet space and I do the adult colouring in books. My councellor told me to do that. It helps
18th January 2021 at 9:41 pm #120005EggshellsParticipant
Such a good idea to have these things written down. There are tough bits but soooo much good stuff to embrace and help you over the bumps. I’m excited for you. xx
18th January 2021 at 10:03 pm #120012
Thank you. You were one of the first people to reply to my first post. You prob won’t remember but I do. Thank you for all your advice and just being kind to me. Everyone here is kind and I’m truly grateful for it
19th January 2021 at 3:12 pm #120040ISOPeaceParticipant
I love your post sharing the benefits of leaving Truetomyself. It was really inspiring. Here’s what I’m looking forward to when I leave:
No constant put downs
No more sarcastic comments about my parenting
No more trying to avoid someone in my own home
No more not wanting to go home
No more counting the days until he’s back at work
Being able to do self care without being told I should do something around the house
Being able to exercise without complaint
Not having to constantly clear up after somebody who thinks I do nothing
Not being ordered around
Not having my boundaries constantly violated
No more wondering when I’ll manage to leave
Being able to work undisturbed
Being able to really enjoy time with the kids
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