The little things

[Sad and alone]

I get asked what are you dressed up for, we’re only going to the shops. And when I ask how am I dressed up get told to calm down and how he knows I’m tired.

Eye-rolling and laughing at a customer saying I’m asking irrelevant questions when I’m sorting out paperwork for a transaction.

Criticising how I choose to eat or drink things. Saying it’s weird or childish and how no one else would do it. Whilst then having his own food rituals or eating like a pig.

Dictating how I should speak to people on the phone instead of messaging. How it’s childish and proves how poor my communication skills are.

Always being told I worry about things that aren’t important. How I should be listening to him as he’s just trying to help me. I’m not sure why I need help.

I’m not a woman. I’m a moron. I’m a failure. I don’t try. I need to change. I need to listen to my husband.

I am so tired of all the little things.

[Yesican]

Those things don’t sound so little to me. They are abusive, controlling and full of contempt. You deserve so much more.

Good luck with your journey xx

[Stargazing1]

You should be allowed to dress how ever you like without having someone telling you that what you are wearing is wrong.  Telling you your wrong it how you do things is appalling . They never ever see their own faults but are quite happy to tell us our faults .  I wish this wasn’t happening to you.  You deserve so much better.  Just because they say we are wrong doesn’t mean we are . Please try to be kind to yourself it is difficult I know because of how they grind us down.  You sound like a lovely person too me. You sound like a person who has been put down alot which is not on in my book .  I feel similar to yourself feeling like I can’t do anything right.  It’s not nice at all . It’s heartbreaking to hear what others go through on a daily basis yet the person who is rotten to us just gets on as if they have not upset or hurt anyone’s feelings.  I could never be like those unkind people.   Hopefully there is strength in numbers.  Please take care of yourself.  Keep safe and be kind to yourself please. Best wishes ❤️

[Poppiesandwildmint]

The little things are important. They are not little things . They are what chips away at you. Yes you have to be kind to yourself. My response to the chipping away is : where do you get that hatred from. I don’t need it . If that’s what you think keep it to yourself.

You do deserve better.

[Cindarella]

Ias i was reading your experience and i thought it was really just me that was contusions getting asked that question “why you getting dressed?, and the best onw “its not a fashion contest, who you trying to impressed” i have to listen to this everyday its so exhausting
I have found that its gone wose after i had a baby, i felt like i couldn’t go back to work becaue tbh and i get that thown in my face that im not dokng anything all day well sorry im looking after our baby, sorry im going on a bit of a rant

[deerinheadlights]

Mine dose it all the time too, meaning asking me those kind of questions!!!

I think that is a common trait among abusive men!!!

I get braided with all kinds of  ridiculous questions Even when I shower or pay a bill I’m up to something, so I totally get it!!!

[gettingtired]

It’s all of these ‘little things’ that can actually be the worst as they chip away at you and destroy your self-esteem. It sounds like he is constantly invalidating you and belittling you. I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. My ex made me feel very insecure by picking apart my whole being. Please keep reaching out for support and posting on here (if it’s safe to do so). Life is so much better on the other side away from the abuser xx

[Sad and alone]

I agree these constant small things are like a constant hum in the background of my life. Things that I have to keep ignoring and think to myself it’s who he is and just get on with things. I get so tired of it. I have said before to him to maybe think before he says things. He doesn’t have to say everything that comes into his head. But even then I know it’s what he’s thinking even if he doesn’t say it so there’s no win.
Tired of being blamed for everything. Even things that aren’t my fault I get the blame for. Things that are my fault I don’t stop hearing about. One thing recently he kept on for a week solid, I felt bad as I’d made a mistake and he just kept on about it. There’s another thing all year he’s been having a go about on and off. It’s like he gets enjoyment from me making a mistakes. Maybe it proves to him he’s superior, even though he says he makes mistakes too. The difference is I don’t keep making him feel bad about them.

I’m feeling so low today. When you can tell they’ve got a problem and you just feel uncomfortable. He’s snapped at me again about something that isn’t my fault. Just end up crying to myself as he would just tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. I miss my Mum and Dad a lot. I miss being loved by anyone as I don’t really have anyone left now. I just want to feel worth something instead of feeling stupid and useless all the time. I wish I could be with them and have them tell me everything will be alright.

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