The more you grey rock, the more they bait you.

[Eggshells]

I’ve had to move in, temporarily, with my parents and my mother is a narc. Out of the clutches of one abuser and into the clutches of another.

I can’t repeat what she said about me the other day when she thought I was out of earshot but it was really nasty and a shocking thing to say about her daughter.

She is constantly trying to erode my confidence, embarrass ne and shame me infront of other people. She will tell them blatant lies infront of me.

She is desperately trying to start an argument with me so i’ve been grey rocking.

The problem is, the more I grey rock, the bolder she gets and the harder she tries to push my buttons. I try to keep out of her way but we all know how abusers will corner you!

I won’t be with her for much longer. My imminent departure may be why she is escalating her behaviour. I can’t help but wonder if grey rock just gives her carte blanch to say and do as she pleases.

Thoughts and suggestions gratefully received please.

[KIP.]

I’m thinking she knew you would hear what she said about you. Out of earshot you certainly weren’t. I’d keep my head down especially if you dont have long to go before you leave. Confronting her will only upset you because she will turn the tables on you. You’re living with her so she holds all the cards for now. Once you’re free from her feel free to let her know her behaviour and what she said about you was unacceptable but from my experience it won’t make a bit of difference. My best advice is to avoid contact at all costs and once you’re free you can keep your distance. She’s toxic and not worth wasting your breath.

[Eggshells]

Thanks KIP. You are absolutely right. I’ve been hurled back into the confusion of an abusive relationship. I’m loosing my clear, rational thinking skills. I really appreciate your clarity. xx

[nbumblebee]

I am so sorry you are going through this again.
Im not sure if this is the same thing but my counsellor has told me to ‘not feed the beast’
Which she means is that when my husband picks fault says nasty things i dont respond but i dont ignore him as that makes him wlrse i just say ok thats your opinion now shall we have a cuppa or something similar so far it seems to work it annoys him that im not upset by his words i am well aware we have to do this very carefully as they can snap but its helping me live here.
Sending you lots love and hugs x

[Eggshells]

I’ve not quite been doing that. I’ve not been responding at all. Perhaps I need to make so sort of benign response.

I’m taking a much needed break away from her atm but unfortunately I am going to have to go back at some point.

Thanks nbumblebee xx

[nbumblebee]

Maybe give it a go @eggshells cant hurt can it and actually and this sound rotten I get a little buzz out of it I can see him getting angry but not being able to start as i dont bite he hates it. Sending hugs sweetie you got this xx

[Eggshells]

Ps. @nbumblebee. I sent you a pm.

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