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    • #132399

      If (detail removed by moderator) odd years isn’t enough to endure I’m still experiencing abuse from my narc ex.
      We’re now divorced but coparenting so no contact is not an option.  (Detail removed by moderator) he manipulated me into his house then proceeded to tell me what he thought of me, then stopped me from leaving by blocking the door (detail removed by moderator). I considered calling the police afterwards but thought it might inflame things further and I don’t want my kids involved. He’s blocked on every platform so can’t contact me, but still has my landline number for emergencies. My kids are (detail removed by moderator) so he can always contact me through them.
      Now where I need advice. He’s taken to using my (detail removed by moderator) email to request that I unblock him. He wants to have that line of communication so he can tell me what he thinks and maintain control and he can’t handle the fact he can’t anymore. I really don’t know what to do. I NEED it to stop. Please help!

    • #132416
      Wants To Help

      Hi everycloud13,

      I’m not sure what or whose email he has tried to make contact with you, but my advice would be to totally ignore it, or if it’s someone else’s email address, ask them to ignore it. He does not need another way to contact you, he has a way – your landline number. He only needs to contact you in an emergency. If there is an emergency (for example when he has the children and one has to go to hospital with a broken leg!) and you are not at home to answer the landline, I’m sure there is another way you can be got hold of via family members or friends/work colleagues in such a case.

      The reason he wants you to unblock him is because he wants to be able to reach you in different ways on his terms. He’s not content with your terms (he never will be.) He has already shown signs that he can control you by refusing to let you leave his house (that is false imprisonment for which he could be arrested). Make sure you have a note of the time and date of that incident because you may need to call on that in future if he continues to try and make contact with you via unwanted means. Keep a note of the date he sent the email, along with the details. Don’t engage with him, don’t explain your reasons to him, don’t feel rude by not replying. You’ve already set your boundaries, you do not need to justify them again. Just keep a log of it all so you can see it becoming a pattern of behaviour. That pattern of behaviour may become evidence of harassment / stalking.

      It’s always hard to co-parent with an abuser but we do our best for the sake of our children, you have my sympathy though, I know how hard it is.

    • #132417

      Report him to the police now. He’s not going to stop until he’s made to. Your kids also need to see that behaviour is not acceptable. Consider a non molestation order. Talk to your local women’s aid.

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